That was Some May 2008 We Just Had: Part 2

A Staten Island man filed suit against Macy's after the shirt he was wearing caught fire when he attempted to light his cigarette on the stove. And if that lawsuit fails, he plans on suing the tobacco company and then the stove manufacturer.

Congressman Vito Fossella announced he will not be seeking re-election when his term finishes after if was discovered he had fathered a child in an extramarital affair after a DUI arrest.. Observed Bill Clinton, "Rookie mistake."

England has given its okay to allow the creation of human/animal hybrid embryos. So in a few years, if you say someone eats like a pig or drinks like a fish, it may be because they are.

The latest Rasmussen Reports survey shows that 62% of voters would prefer fewer government services with lower taxes, while another 29% were waiting for their government cheese.

NASA's Mars Phoenix Lander landed safely on Mars and began sifting through the Martian soil for any signs of life. Next, it will be sent over to Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign headquarters for the same reason.

In an interview, former President Jimmy Carter dismissed concerns over Iran developing a nuclear weapon, saying if they got a bomb, Iranians are rational people and wouldn't want to commit suicide. Which is true, unless there were 72 virgins or a shot at martyrdom involved. Then Carter told everyone that Israel has 150 nuclear weapons in its arsenal. So now Hamas knows it just needs one hundred and fifty one.

Two men in SAN FRANCISCO broke the world record for shaking hands with one another for 9 1/2 hours. Not only that, but they also set the record for saying, "Hey, what's up?"

ABC, CBS and NBC are teaming up to simulcast a fundraiser for cancer research, and took the unique step of having their three evening newscasters, CBS' Katie Couric, ABC's Charles Gibson and NBC's Brian Williams, appear together on the three morning shows to make the announcement. This, of course, raised the question, "Katie Couric is still an evening newscaster?"

Oprah Winfrey's talk show ratings have declined 7 percent which some are saying is because she's alienating her core audience by getting too political and stumping for Barack Obama. I guess that could be a reason. Or maybe people just got tired of getting free stuff.

In an effort to show how bad the economy is, NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams asked people to e-mail them with their stories about how gas prices were affecting their plans for the recent Memorial Day holiday. They received many e-mails from people on how they were cutting back. But fortunately, they were all able to afford computers.

In an interview, Time magazine managing editor Richard Stengel said that there has been a certain amount of glee in the press corps about Hillary Clinton not doing that well. Because that means they've been doing their jobs.

Ayatollah Ahmad Elmalhoda, a top Iranian cleric has reportedly called feminists "whores and foreign spies". Here, Obama calls them "sweetie."

Dunkin Donuts pulled a commercial featuring pitchwoman Rachael Ray wearing a scarf because somebody thought the scarf Ray wore looked too much like an Arab scarf. Also, Dunkin Donuts has discontinued its Jihad Jelly doughnuts, Muslim Muffins and croissants.

NASA's shuttle Discovery had to launch carrying a special pump on board to fix a broken toilet on the international space station. For this trip, the astronauts are charging by the hour. It was an emergency, too. As it turns out it's very hard to operate the space station with your legs constantly crossed.

An investigation by the Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs found violent training and recruiting videos are being posted on YouTube by Islamist terror organizations and YouTube is very slow in removing them. But on the plus side, they do get very low ratings.

Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan wrote a book on the Bush Administration, "What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception," which contains information that he felt was essential for the American people to know, in book form, months after the fact, for $29.95. Well, I guess that's you won't be seeing in the Bush Presidential Library.

Czech President Vaclav Klaus has challenged Al Gore to a debate about global warming because he argues environmentalism poses a threat to basic human freedoms. With all the blowback over his global warming theory, Al Gore was quoted as saying, "Is it getting hot in here, or is it me?"

La Scala officials have announced that Italian composer Giorgio Battistelli has been commissioned to turn Al Gore's film, "An Inconvenient Truth," into an opera the 2011 season at the Milan opera house. Opera? Way to get the word out to the common man. Were the Kabuki rights already taken? Apparently one scene will feature a singer cracking an iceberg with only her voice.

A lost Amazon tribe was been discovered on the border between Brazil and Peru but later reports show that the tribe wasn't lost, just misplaced. The tribe has bows and arrows, grass-thatched huts and, surprisingly, a Starbucks.

NBC Nightly News anchor is trying to make a case that an increase in the sale of Spam luncheon meat products points to a weak economy. I guess Brian Williams graduated from the Monty Python School of Economics.

And finally, President Bush announced that Americans soon will be allowed to send cell phones to Cubans. OMG, now I can text my BFF, Fidel! TIA, President Bush! G2G, everybody.