That was Some Month We Just Had - Part 6

A California state advisory board is calling for a study to determine if drinks containing caffeine pose a risk to pregnant women and newborns. This could scuttle plans for Gerber's new line of Red Baby energy colas. Also endangered, Starbucks' new franchise, "Baby's First Mocha latte."

With one in four U.S. adults experiencing incontinence at some point, a government panel suggests that we should remove the stigma so more people will seek help. What kind of help do they suggest? Depends. But seriously, the government had to sponsor this kind of panel? I'm surprised people would sit for that. How about for starters we refer to people who suffer from it as "colon-ly-challenged"? I guess this is a good thing. But I don't think they should be using Britney Spears' "Whoops, I did it Again" as their theme song.

Scientists have been studying pregnant women to discover why they don't lose their balance and topple over despite ever-growing weight up front and now they think they know why. How come? So they can start toppling over pregnant women?

The chief of homeland security, Michael Chertoff, stated that just because we have not had a terrorist attack on this country in the last six years we should become complacent. So while we may be safer, we're just not safe enough to elect a democrat.

Taxpayers are facing delayed refunds or hefty tax hits as Congress argues over how to best take your money from you. The fight is over the Alternate Minimum Tax and an attempt to adjust it for inflation so it doesn't hit families it was never supposed to. But it looks like Congress wants to turn the AMT into an ATM for them.

The George Mitchell list of baseball players linked to performance-enhancing drugs was released and it contains multiple MVP, Cy Young award winners and All-Stars past and present. But is it really smart to get a bunch of steroid-enraged men who have access to bats mad at you? But in the end, this means many of these athletes' records will have asterisks next to them; much like pro wrestling.

POPE BENEDICT XVI's holiday message called for the natural family of humanity to care for each other and maintain their home, the earth, for themselves and their children. That's just so like him to say that.

A book of fairy tales created, handwritten and illustrated by J.K. Rowling sold for nearly $4 million at auction, allowing Rowling to scoop up some of the money she missed with the Harry Potter books.

Federal authorities have subpoenaed financial records and employees in an apparent probe of the Rev. Al Sharpton's 2004 presidential bid, nonprofit civil rights group and for-profit businesses. It seems the non-profit civil rights group made more money than his for-profit business. Apparently, his run for president was considered charity. This all begs the question, "Al Sharpton has for-profit businesses?" Where does he find the time?

Meanwhile, the Clinton campaigned fired the co-chair of her New Hampshire organization after he made references to Obama's admitted drug use as a young man. They really don't get it. People don't care about how much coke you did when you were in college, unless you did it with Osama bin Laden. Or a gas-guzzling SUV. Or you didn't inhale.

Al Gore, who was criticized for high electric bills at his Tennessee mansion, has completed a host of improvements to make the home more energy efficient, installing solar panels, a rainwater-collection system and geothermal heating. He also replaced all incandescent lights with compact fluorescent or light-emitting diode bulbs. You hear that earth? It's gonna be okay!

A Vermont man claims when he bit into Southwestern Whopper at Burger King, there was an unwrapped condom in it. A condom in a Whopper. That's just too Freudian for words. Is it me, or is this like the worst kid meal promotion ever? Anyway, for pain and suffering, emotional duress and medical expenses, the man is seeking monetary damages, along with one of those Simpson figures that were so hard to get last summer. Meanwhile, over a Condom King...oh, never mind.