The 10 Worst Action Movies of the Decade

Fans of action movies are like sports fans; they have their favorites and have little sympathy or charity with those who disagree. It is, therefore, dangerous to try and list the ten worst action movies of the past decade. I have no doubt that there are devotees of the action genre out there who will sharpen their fingers and seek my eyes for the following list of the worst action films of the decade.

1. District 9. Insect-like aliens come to earth, but not to conquer. They are confined to former shanty towns in South Africa, where they are guarded by vicious Nigerian security personnel. A local official makes friends with them. Now, I like Sci-fi movies, and especially the action branch of the genre, but there are just too many inconsistencies in this film for me. They never, for instance, explain how this one guy learns the alien language which sounds like an angry swarm of click beetles. The Nigerian government and people were incensed at their portrayal in the film - and with good reason. They were painted as heartless monsters.
2. 10 Dead Men. A man with a criminal past, who has tried to get away from it, is continually haunted by it. He goes on a killing spree to silence all the men who have done him wrong. Come on guys, this is a really cliché plot, been done before, and much better. I'd never seen Brendan Carr before, but I certainly hope he exercises a bit more discretion in future script selection.
3. Crocodile Hunter - Collision Course. "Crocodile Dundee" was a good action film that portrayed the denizens of the Outback very well. Here a crocodile hunter and his unbelievably brave wife have to save a crocodile from a farmer's rifle. Problem is, the croc has swallowed a secret device that government agents badly want. They think the crocodile hunter and his wife are stealing the device; while the couple think they are being chased by poachers. Good scenery, but, who cares?
4. Kill Bill-Vol. 1. A woman who was pregnant wakes up from a coma to find her child has been stolen. She sets out to get vengeance. I hate to pan this film, because it has four of my favorite stars; Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox, and Daryl Hannah. But, it is just too predictable, too cliché, and their talents are totally wasted.
5. The Dark Knight. The back story of Batman, starring Christian Bale and Heath Ledger. The late Ledger was suitably menacing as The Joker, but I think both stars overacted, and was repulsed by the exploitation of Ledger's untimely death.
6. Shirley Pimple in the John Wayne Temple of Doom. Story of an epic duel between an evil kid and a John Wayne knock-off. The people who created the little monster, try to chill her jets by getting her addicted. I liked Shirley Temple and was frankly offended by the play on words and image. This is a terrible movie with nothing to recommend it.
7. Terror at Tate Manor. A group of young people are invited to stay at a Victorian manor that was built on Indian burial grounds and was the site of KKK lynchings. Something in the house doesn't want them to leave. Watching this horrible movie, the same question popped continually into my mind, if things make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, why not get the heck out right away? "Halloween" and "Nightmare on Elm Street" were scary and full of action, though a bit hokey. This movie is scary, hokey, and not worth the cost of DVD rental.
8. Gone in 60 Seconds. Nicolas Cage is a reformed thief who re-enters the trade to save his brother from mobsters. In the process he hooks up again with his old girl friend, played by Angelina Jolie. I like both performers, and there are some good chase scenes, but again, it's a rehash of an old plot, and it comes off better as a western.
9. GI Joe: Rise of Cobra. A movie based on the popular military action figure. I never really figured out the plot, or even why this movie was ever made. It might have worked as a cartoon, where oversized muscles and dumb dialogue is expected. As a movie, it just sucked.
10. The Rundown. Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson is hired to go to South America to retrieve the son of a mobster. The two stars spend as much time fighting with other as they do the bad guy who controls the town in which the kid lives. The movie had its moments, and was more comedy than true action flick. This was not "the Rock's" best, but one can hope it's the last time he allows himself to be cast in such a dumb movie.