The 10 Worst Films of the 2000's

I wasn't planning on doing a ten worst list for this decade but while doing my research I was able to come up with a list of ten that would be hard pressed to be pushed out by any upcoming releases. I am sure there are a few big stinkers awaiting the unsuspecting movie public but this list is capable of competing with any of them.

I did break my own rules by including both a sequel and two remakes but there level of awfulness was too deep to ignore.

Here are the ten worst films of the 2000's in alphabetical order:

BATTLEFIELD EARTH (2000) - John Travolta decided that L. Ron Hubbard's novel was fit for film adaptation and it began what is now his second free fall after a string of successes. The sci-fi film is hard to follow, ugly to look at and contains some of the worst visual effects ever seen in a major motion picture. If you ever want to see people laugh at a movie that isn't a comedy this is the film for you.

CATWOMAN (2005) - This is an absolutely dreadful film based on the comic strip with Halle Berry apparently paying the piper after hearing the Academy Award music for "Monster's Ball." Here she plays the title character out to get perfume magnet Sharon Stone (looking terribly old here) after witnessing a murder. Berry looks spectacular in her catwoman costume but it takes almost 45 minutes before the title character makes her appearance. Once again the visuals leave a lot to be desired and the film quickly faded away. How right people were to stay away.

DEUCE BIGALOW: EUROPEAN GIGOLO (2006) - Quite simply put this is the worst comedy I have ever seen. I don't understand Rob Schneider's appeal and don't think he has much talent. This film does not contain a single funny line nor is there even a funny visual. I sat stone-faced for 90 minutes and realized I could have used my time doing ANYTHING including seeing "Battlefield Earth" again. Adam Sandler was one of the producers making his stock plunge even further. He also provides an embarrassing cameo.

DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE (2001) - John Travolta's follow up to "Battlefield Earth" continued his career slump. This ludicrous thriller finds Travolta as a divorced dad who becomes weary of his ex-wife's new boyfriend while their son witnesses a murder that no one will believe he witnessed except for Travolta, and no one believes him. The boyfriend, as played by Vince Vaughn, is so menacing looking that a blind man can see something isn't right about him. Add to that the fact that Vaughn's right hand man is the slimy looking Steve Buscemi. This movie defines the word stupid as each additional scene adds to the ridiculousness of the festivities. Thankfully the film barely runs 80 minutes so the pain is over quickly.

HOSTEL (2006) - Just in time for its sequel is one of the most unpleasant films I have ever witnessed. The basic story is of a group of American teenagers kidnapped so they can be sent to a place where people pay to torture and kill others in any manner they choose. Nice movie huh? We see these tortures and deaths in sickening detail and this film accomplished something that rarely happens, I had to turn away from the screen - more then once. This is an awful movie whose director deserves to never work again (at least after the sequel).

THE IN-LAWS (2005) - One of the all-time great comedies was the 1979 classic starring Alan Arkin and Peter Falk. This is a dreadful, dismal remake starring Michael Douglas and Albert Brooks, both of whom are hopelessly miscast here. The film is needless when you see the wonderful original version. This film adds some twists and a little more violence but the laughs come about one-tenth of the time. This is another shining example of why great originals should be left alone.

RUNNING WITH SCISSORS (2006) - See my review elsewhere on this site. This is one of the most depressing movies I have ever seen with every character a psychological mess. It is supposedly based on a true story and that may be but I would never ever want to meet any of these people. Cheer yourself up after seeing this by seeing "Hostel."

A SOUND OF THUNDER (2006) - A futuristic thriller featuring visual effects so awful you would expect this to have been made in the 50's and not today. To discuss it further would be to waste too much time on a worthless film.

SURVIVING CHRISTMAS (2004) - This stinker sat on the shelf almost a year before seeing the light of day. Ben Affleck plays a spoiled rich businessman with no family who decides to buy a family so he can spend Christmas with them. James Gandolfini plays the father in the family and wouldn't you know it there is a sexy daughter that is just right for Affleck but won't get passed Gandolfini's firm grasp. If you think it all ends happily and that Affleck learns not to be so snotty then you would be correct. Even Gandolfini urged fans not to see it.

SWEPT AWAY (2003) - Yet another remake, this one a remake of Lina Wertmuller's acclaimed 1976 film is the story of a spoiled rich woman on a cruise that is shipwrecked who then finds herself alone with a ship crewman who teaches her humility and love. Madonna, who has been acceptable in a few films, is totally awful here. Not only is she as wooden as a log but also her character is obnoxious and crude and you only wish that the guy would drown her. Madonna's husband, Guy Ritchie, directed this disaster and we can only hope he moves on to better things after having crafter two terrific earlier films, "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" and "Snatch."