The 12 Commandments for Parents

It's probably no secret that none of us parents are born with the knowledge we need to raise a good, happy child. The good news is the skills we need to raise children can be learned from people who have been there and successfully brought up children. While all these commandments are first and foremost addressed to parents, they can also be guides to teachers and any other adults the need to deal with children. These tips will help the child develop and grow both emotionally and psychologically.

1)A child is more capable of understanding than most of us believe. Don't underestimate the ability of your child to understand. If they think you think poorly of them and their decisions, it may affect their development.

2)Children, as do most people, love a challenge. If you issue a threat, the child may continue their behavior just to see if they can escape the punishment.

3)Don't use bribes. It's easy to use money as a bribe. The problem is the child will learn the importance of money and not the importance of learning for learning's sake.

4)Small children can't hold promises so don't force them to do something they are incapable of doing and then punish them.

5)In order to grow up and mature normally, children need to have some freedom including the freedom to make mistakes. Give them that freedom to grow.

6)Keep your conversations with children at their level. Their vocabulary cannot match yours so don't expect them to understand big words and difficult concepts. Keep it simple and age appropriate.

7)A child has to learn to think for his or her own self. A blind obedience to orders will not allow the child to grow and think on their own.

8)A child who is indulged too much will not develop properly. This is similar to not allowing them to grow on their own.

9)The rules you establish need to be followed and enforced. Be careful in making these rules as you do not want to compromise. A rule that is too difficult to follow will lead to disaster as you will have to bend the rules and not be able to enforce them.

10)This goes with rule #9. Do not impose rules that your child is incapable of following. As the child ages, you can increase the complexity of your rules.

11)While guilt has been used since the beginning of humankind, it is not an appropriate feeling for children, especially younger ones.

12) Be cautious of the orders you give your child. He/she will try to please you by following them. If the order is too drastic or incapable of being followed by a young child, you are setting them up for disappointment.

Don't be too harsh on yourself if your falter while following these commandments. They take time to master. You will make mistakes. Keep in mind that your child loves you and will continue to do so even though you are imperfect like all of us.