The 12 Steps

He had not been expecting a letter. Being dump via the US Postal Service is like being shot in the heart. Victor Jones sat at his desk intensely staring at the pink paper that his now ex girlfriend has written him on.

Here is the letter:
I won't say its not you. Because it is you! Money, success, and fame is all you think about 24/7. I know you care about your career as an A list actor but what about LOVE! What about me? Is that too much to ask for? Well, its over between you and me because I found somebody who cares about me. And guess who it is? IT'S YOUR TWIN BROTHER! So go ahead and sleep with your next co star because I'm done with you VICTOR JONES!

P.S. Shove your Oscar where the sun don't shine!

He took the piece of paper and crumble it up. He threw it in the waste basket beside him. Victor wasn't sad that his girlfriend of five years was breaking up with him. He knew it would happen one day. He knew his playboy antics and the constant rumors in the tabloids (which were true) were getting on his girlfriend's nerves. What bother Victor was that she dumped him instead of him dumping her. By her dumping him via the postal office really made him angry. Because this will be in every tabloid and entertainment magazine. Because he wouldn't be remember as the young fresh actor who won an Oscar but the young pathetic actor who got dumped via USPS.

Victor knew that everything he has worked so hard for in his life depended on his next move. He could either cry a river and act as the victim or move to Ohio and start a new life as a nobody. He chose neither. Victor grabbed a piece of paper and pencil from one of the draws from his desk. He placed the paper on his desk and started to make a to do list. The to do list was basically a ploy to divert the fact that he was dumped by mail.

Victor took his pencil and wrote down the following:
1. Start a fight.
2. Take drugs.
3. Get arrested.
4.. Steal a car.
5.. Mug someone.
6.. Vandalism.
7. Sleep with a fan.
8. Rob a bank.
9. Sneak drugs into a foreign country.
10. High speed chase with the cops.
11. Make a sex tape.
12. Murder somebody. (If all else fails.)

As Victor Jones folded the white piece of paper into the inside pocket of his designer jacket, he gets up from his desk and walks down the hallway of his mansion. First, he checks his hair in the mirror to make sure that every strain is in place. Then he walks out of the front door to complete his missions. There greeting him in his driveway is a dozen of paparazzi snapping away at him. Victor hurriedly walks over to his red BMW and hops in. He starts the engine and drives to his twin brother's house.

Once there he knocks on the door. Nobody answers. He knocks again and again. He knows that his brother is there. His beat up car is in the drive way. He could smell the marijuana joints reeking up the place. He knocks on the door one more time. And finally the door opens revealing a tall, dirty man with a vacant glaze in his eyes. "Hey man. What's up?" The man says. "You." Victor says as he punches the man in the nose. Victor pushes his way inside and closes the door. "What did you do that for?" The man cries as his nose gushes out blood. "Because you slept with my girlfriend. And because I can." Victor says as he walks passed the man and into the living room. There he saw a mountain of assorted drugs. "Man, I'm sorry. But things happen. We're still bros, aren't we?" The man says as he follows Victor. "Yeah, sure." Victor says as he faces his brother. "As you can see. I got problems. But I'll tell you what. I'm going to dump that witch. Because its bros before hoes. I forgot that but let me make it up to you. I'm going to take you out. I'm going to get you the hottest girls in this town. You're not even going to remember your ex girlfriend's name when I'm done with you, bro!" The man says as he cracks a smile at his brother. "Sure. But I have to do something first." Victor says as he looks into his brother's eyes. "What's that?" His brother asks. "I have to do step one." Victor says as he dons a wicked smile on his face.