The 15 Worst Things You Could Say to Your Child or Children About Divorce

Nothing is easy when it comes to divorce or separation. It's hard enough for the parents involved, but for the kids, it's even worse. My entire adult life, I've never heard of one divorce situation that was easy. Take for example, my divorce. My ex-husband and I divorced over five years ago. During the proceedings, it was an ugly battle, but for my five-year-old daughter, it became a "blame-game".

Each time my daughter would visit with her dad, she would come home with more and more questions and looking for explanations. Following is a list of the worst things that were said by my ex-husband to my daughter:

"I will get your Mom for what she's done".
"I'm just the babysitter".
"Your Mom doesn't love you".
"Your Mom doesn't want you".
"I hope your Mom dies".
"I'm not paying child support because your Mom will spend it on herself".
"You were the reason for the divorce."
"Everything was great until you were born".
"I didn't ask to be your dad".
"I'm gonna die and you won't have a dad".
"I'm moving far away because I don't want to be around either of you anymore".
"You are a loser just like your mom".
"I don't want to see you for the holidays".
"Your 'new" daddy doesn't want you at their house".
"I can't stand the sight of you. You look like your mom."

Now trying to explain to a five-year-old about anger was a job in itself. Each visit resulted in numerous questions. Trying to smooth it over as I could, I inevitable explained that her dad was just angry and sometimes people say things in anger that isn't true. For my daughter, all I could do was love her more and try to help her understand.

After five years of this, she finally had enough. With the maturity that most adults do not have, she told her dad that she was sorry he felt that way, but she wasn't going to be the ping-pong ball in his game and would no longer be around him if he continued that behavior. So, far, it's been three years since she has seen him. And that's her choice, not mine.

I have spoken with her dad a few times since all that happened. He never asks how she is...only about financial matters, ie. if the co-payment was made for her check-up visit with her doctor.

I recently sat down and talked with my daughter about how she feels in regards to her dad now. "I feel sorry for Dad and I hope he becomes as happy one day and me and my Mom. Because being a kid can be fun!"