The 30 Days of Moving

On the first day of moving, my husband said to me, "Aren't you glad that the Army's moving us for free?"

On the second day of moving, my husband said to me, "The movers couldn't make it, but hey, we can take it! It increases our packing days to three."

On the third day of moving, my husband said to me, "I think they packed my gear, but never fear, I'll go and buy more, we're made out of money."

On the fourth day of moving, my daughter said to me, "I can't find my backpack, you wouldn't think they'd pack that! Guess you'll owe the school for two hardbacks, a vocab text book, and for my locker key."

On the fifth day of moving, my son said to me, "I don't wanna go, NC is all I know, and now my senior year is going to suck."

On the sixth day of moving, my husband said to me, "I've got to go back to work, my CO is such a jerk. My leave form's lost somewhere in the company."

On the seventh day of moving, my children said to me, "We wanna ride with Dad, his driving isn't as bad, and the cats with you will all be howling."

On the eighth day of moving, my husband said to me, "I packed both our cars, glad it isn't far. I don't think you'll be able, out the back hatch, to really see."

On the ninth day of moving, my children said to me, "God, are we there yet? I'm tired of your mus-sack and I think that that one of the cats just peed."

On the tenth day of moving, my husband said to me, "We'll stay and pay a week, another hotel, I don't wanna seek, and we'll be reimbursed from the Army."

On the eleventh day of moving, my children said to me, "We are really hungry, can't we have more money? We've ordered room service up for us three."

On the twelfth day of moving, my husband said to me, "Honey, why you crying? The house we're finished buying, and it shouldn't take any longer, to move in, than this week."

On the thirteenth day of moving, my realtor said to me, "Congratulations on your new home! I'm sorry your cell phone roams, but you can always switch over companies."

On the fourteenth day of moving, my husband said to me, "I'm sorry I have to go back so fast, you knew that the leave wouldn't last, I'm sure that they'll locate our stuff in a hurry."

On the fifteenth day of moving, my children said to me, "When do we get our beds, sleeping on the floor hurts my head, and in the morning I feel really crappy."

On the sixteenth day of moving, my husband said to me, "I checked with transportation, it looks like they can fit us in on the Tuesday of this week."

On the seventeenth day of moving, my children said to me, "We hate our new school, they are all a bunch of fools, and I can't get my college-prep, high school degree."

On the eighteenth day of moving, the new school said to me, "We need Georgia forms for their shots, dental and eyes, can't believe you act surprised, it shouldn't cost you much to get it transferred in a hurry."

On the nineteenth day of moving, my husband said to me, "Bell South canceled four times, guess we really don't need a land line, do you mind if I take your cell phone?"

On the twentieth day of moving, my husband said to me, "Aren't you glad we have our things? What do you mean, 'he lost his class ring'? Didn't that cost us a lot of money?"

On the twenty-first day of moving, my son said to me, "The movers broke my box springs, matter of fact, they broke lots of things! Can't we sue them or that company?"

On the twenty-second day of moving, my husband said to me, "Seven pages of broken? Our couch and our entertainment center!? Aren't you joking? Guess they'll owe us some money."

On the twenty-third day of moving, my daughter said to me, "I want different curtains, these just aren't working, and I need a new comforter to match it please."

On my twenty-fourth day of moving, my husband said to me, "Look, you've really done it, the house looks like we live it in, too bad that'll need all to collect the broken things."

On the twenty-fifth day of moving, my children said to me, "I want to go back home, can we go visit? I know there are things to do yet, but I really miss my friends' company."

On the twenty-sixth day of moving, my husband said to me, "Your van is overheating, we really can't use it, so we'll get it in to the dealership quickly."

On the twenty-seventh day of moving, the dealership said to me, "There's lots that need mending, if your credit card number you'll be sending, and we'll fix it within the next few days."

On the twenty-eighth day of moving, my husband said to me, "I know you never see me, I leave really early, but that's what a Drill Sergeant does regularly."

On the twenty-ninth day of moving, my children said to me, "We can't believe you picked here, we'd rather be anywhere~ this is such a backwards town for us to be!"

On the thirtieth day of moving, my husband said to me, "It's not that bad. Honey, don't be sad, won't you put down the bottle of Jim Beam."