The 5 Stages of Death and Dying

Death and Dying is certainly an uncomfortable subject. It is often avoided, and when imminence necessitates that it be discussed, it is done so very carefully. The fact is, death is something we all must face at some point. Whether it be a close friend, a family member, or yourself, it takes a heavy psychological toll. And, in the vein of psychology, the theory of the 5 stages one goes through mentally when facing death is commonly gone through.

The first stage is denial. When initially discovering that that they are going to die, people refuse to accept it. They say to themselves their doctor is wrong, it was a misdiagnosis. These kinds of things happen to other people but not to them. They simply refuse to believe that they are going to die.

The second stage is anger. When it can no longer be denied that death is inevitable, such as when they start feeling and displaying the symptoms of a certain terminal disease, the brain goes into a state of rage. Why them, why now? They reason that it is unjust and unfair that they won't be around to see things happen.

The third stage is bargaining. In a last ditch attempt to keep the fact that they are going to die immaterial. They try to make a deal with anyone they see as having control over their lives in order to save it. It might be a doctor, who they vow to spend whatever it takes to live as long as they get the best treatment possible or available. It may even be God. They vow to give up a vice, say, cigarette smoking, to make it through a disease like lung cancer.

The fourth stage is depression. When the bargains they try to make inevitably stare, they look at the prospect of death as a definite thing, which triggers intense sadness. For example, they won't be around to see their grandchildren go, or they will be separated from a spouse of many years. Such drastic change takes a heavy toll psychologically, and according to this theory, it triggers a deep depression at this stage.

The fifth and final stage is acceptance. Finally, after the denial, anger, bargaining, and depression stages have passed, the person grows to just accept the unavoidable truth. They are still often a little sad, but they come to quietly know that they must live out what is left of their life to its fullest extent, and enjoy the time they have left with loved ones.

According to this psychological theory, the stages do not necessarily have to occur in order. For example, a person may initially respond to a certain diagnosis with anger, and then later on denial. The stages are in a way fluid. Also, someone can relapse in stages chronologically. For instance someone who has reached the acceptance phase may be reminded of something they will miss and slip back into the depression phase. Despite this fluidity, one thing is a constant. Dealing with death is certainly a complex process. Both death and complexity are, after all, a part of life.