The 5 Worst Christmas Gifts to Give Hippies

Hippies can be among the most frustrating group to shop for Christmas. Let me be clear about who I mean by hippies. I'm talking about those people who don't eat meat, or possibly don't consume any animal products at all. These people reuse, recycle, and sometimes eat from the garbage to avoid the sin of wasting food. They may not bathe, and they likely have body hair in places that most normal people would not. What makes hippies so difficult to shop for is their tendency to eschew owning stuff. They will not want anything that could have profited from the sweat of innocent children in foreign countries, anything name-brand, or anything from a retail store that exists in more than one location. Hippies may be difficult to shop for, but there are some Christmas gifts you should absolutely avoid. Here are the five worst Christmas gifts to give a hippie.

# 1 Meat

Under no circumstances should you give your hippie meat for Christmas. Most hippies are vegans or vegetarians. Some will eat free range meat, or meat that has been treated and killed fairly and produced locally. Therefore, the Omaha Steaks Premier Gift Collection, which includes 4 each of 5-oz filet mignons, 5-oz top sirloins, 4-oz boneless pork chops, 4-oz steak burgers, and 3-oz gourmet franks on sale for $59.99, would be about the worst Christmas gift to give a hippie.

#2 Hummer

With the hippies' tendency to promote all things environmental, if they drive a car at all, it would need to be the picture of environmental friendliness. The completely environmentally irresponsible Hummer H3, which at $41,000 includes the luxury package with leather appointed front and rear seats, heated front seats, 6-disc CD changer with AM/FM stereo, 7-speaker Monsoon sound system, front and rear carpeted floor mats, and added features of a sliding glass sunroof and off road suspension, is a Christmas gift guaranteed to not be a hit.

#3 NRA Membership

Hippies tend to abhor violence in any form, possibly because they're all big wusses. Most hippies would not want to own a gun, much less be a member of an organization that's all about owning guns. So, I do not recommend gifting a hippie with an NRA membership, which runs at $35/ year or $1000 for a lifetime.

#4 Razor

Most hippies, whether male or female, do not trouble themselves to shave body hair in places where most people usually do. An electric razor, like the Bell and Howell Tri-Tek Rechargeable Triple Head Shaver and Trimmer sold at CVS for $19.99, would be a less-than-appreciated Christmas gift.

#5 Pop Music

For a group of people who would listen to a cat screeching if they thought it held some key to greater awareness, you might be surprised by the categories of music that hippies would reject. Typically, a hippie would snub any artist that played for the money rather than the music itself. Hit pop artists would be the quintessential example of shallow, meaningless sound, and would be a terrible Christmas gift for a hippie.