The 8 Worst Movies of 2010: Advance Predictions

Lists of a year's best and worst movies are usually put out at the end of the year. But between trailers, press releases, and the occasional advance review, it's not too difficult to get a sense of how the movies of 2010 are going to shake out. Movie quality prediction is not an exact science, of course -- some of these 2010 movies could very well turn out to be good -- but the following are the eight upcoming movies that are most likely to be awful, presented with links to trailers (where available). When the proper lists of the worst films of 2010 start to trickle out next December, these movies have a good chance of being on them.

1: Tooth Fairy

WHAT IS IT?: Dwayne Johnson (he seems to have completely dropped "The Rock" from his name) stars in this family comedy about a pro hockey player who has to make up for his jerkiness by becoming a tooth fairy.

WHY WILL IT PROBABLY BE BAD?: The movie's tagline in the trailer is "You can't handle the tooth." That should say all you need to know about the level this movie is pitched at. Plus, the gruff action hero/cute kid stuff combination has worked precisely once in movie history (Kindergarten Cop). It's just not a very promising formula to build a movie around. Oh, and Billy Crystal's in it.

ALTHOUGH... : Johnson has proven himself to be a surprisingly strong comic performer when he's hosted Saturday Night Live.

Tooth Fairy comes out on January 22, 2010.

2: When In Rome

WHAT IS IT?: Kristen Bell, playing yet another iteration of the lonely, single, ultra-serious, big-city career woman, picks up some coins from a "fountain of love" in Rome and finds herself ardently pursued by the owners of said coins. This romantic comedy is inexplicably directed by superhero movie vet Mark Steven Johnson, of Daredevil and Ghost Rider.

WHY WILL IT PROBABLY BE BAD?:The trailer is pretty heavy on humor of the "stuff breaking" and "guy walks into a tree" variety. The recent movie archetype of the impossibly hot woman who can't find a man and is extremely desperate (see Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses) is nonsensical, stupid, and kind of sexist all at the same time. Also, it's not a good sign for a movie's quality when the trailer takes time out to emphasize the music that's in the movie (are there really people who will see a movie just because it has a new Jason Mraz song? Other than Jason Mraz's immediate family?).

ALTHOUGH... : Kristen Bell is a likable actress. She can do fine work with the right script (see Forgetting Sarah Marshall). Plus Will Arnett appears as an Italian artist, and the prospect of Will Arnett speaking with an Italian accent is sort of funny.

When In Rome comes out on January 29, 2010.

3: Valentine's Day

WHAT IS IT?: This Garry Marshall-directed film tells ten interconnected stories set on Valentine's Day in Los Angeles. So it's sort of a romantic comedy version of Crash.

WHY WILL IT PROBABLY BE BAD?: Marshall has directed some well-regarded comedies over the years, but he's also responsible for the huge 2007 misfire Georgia Rule. But here's the real warning sign: almost nothing in the trailer even attempts to be funny. It pretty much just focuses on showing off the film's ridiculously overstuffed cast (Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Queen Latifah, Ashton Kutcher, Julia Roberts, Jamie Foxx, Anne Hathaway, Jennifer Garner, etc., etc.).
ALTHOUGH...: Well, the movie has ten stories. What are the odds that they'll all be bad?

Valentine's Day comes out on February 12, 2010.

4: The Back-Up Plan

WHAT IS IT?: Jennifer Lopez plays a woman who is artificially inseminated, then meets a good guy and tries to hide her pregnancy, but he finds out and BLA BLA BLA.

WHY WILL IT PROBABLY BE BAD?: See above.

ALTHOUGH... : According to the movie's Wikipedia page, The Back-Up Plan has similarities to another upcoming film called "The Baster." If there are two movies covering this ground, then maybe artificial insemination comedy is a rich, untapped vein of hilarity.

The Back-Up Plan comes out on March 12, 2010.

5: Hot Tub Time Machine

WHAT IS IT?: John Cusack, Rob Corddry, and Chevy Chase star in this comedy about a group of friends who are sent back to 1986 in a jacuzzi.

WHY WILL IT PROBABLY BE BAD?: Hot Tub Time Machine has a special red band trailer. These usually allow the filmmakers to roll out a sampling of the sort of outrageous raunchiness that's not allowed in regular trailers. But in this one, almost nothing happens. Seriously. Go watch it. It pretty much consists of four guys standing around and repeating the movie's premise. "Guys! The hot tub is a time machine! It's the past now!" There very well may be funny stuff in this movie, but if there is, somebody made sure that none of it got into the trailer.

ALTHOUGH... : Since almost nothing is revealed in the trailer, this could still turn out to be a good movie with a bad marketing team.

Hot Tub Time Machine comes out on March 19, 2010.

6: Season Of The Witch

WHAT IS IT?: Nicolas Cage stars in this supernatural thriller as a knight in the 14th century. It has something to do with a woman who is accused of witchcraft. Dominic Sena of Gone In 60 Seconds and Swordfish directs.

WHY WILL IT PROBABLY BE BAD?: Somehow, putting Nicolas Cage in a period piece just sounds like a howlingly bad idea. He seems like one of those actors who only works in a contemporary setting. On top of that, the trailer looks murky, grim, and unpleasant.

ALTHOUGH... : The other knight is played by Ron Perlman. Ron Perlman shines in bad movies more than any actor this side of Christopher Walken.

Season Of The Witch comes out on March 19, 2010.

7: Piranha 3D

WHAT IS IT?: It's all right there in the title. It's a 3D movie about piranhas that attack a bunch of tourists.

WHY WILL IT PROBABLY BE BAD?: The only way a concept this goofy can work is if it's a bit self-aware about how goofy it is, and keeps things campy and fun while delivering scares and throwing 3D bitten-off fingers in our faces. Unfortunately, Piranha 3D was written by the guys who wrote the last few Saw movies, and that series is nothing if not grim and uber-serious.

ALTHOUGH... : Christopher Lloyd is in it, so they might be on the right track.

Piranha 3D comes out on April 16, 2010.

8: Walter The Farting Dog

WHAT IS IT?: The Jonas Brothers star in this adaptation of a series of children's books about a fat dog who farts a lot.

WHY WILL IT PROBABLY BE BAD?: See above.

ALTHOUGH... : No, really. Go back and read that again. There is no "Although."

Walter The Farting Dog has no set release date yet, unfortunately. We shall all wait with bated breath.