The 9 to 5 Ghetto Fabulous: How NOT to Dress at Work

I work in a pretty relaxed place. We are coached to wear "business casual" Monday through Thursday, and casual on Fridays and Saturdays.

So why then do so many females look as though they are trying out for a Flava Flave video?

The average age of the wardrobe culprits is 30, but they try to dress like teenagers on a hormonal rampage.

One young male thinks he's "hip hop" by wearing baggy pants they stop beneath his butt. He also has gold teeth, hat tilted to one side and - oh yeah, I think he thinks he's Black (he is Hispanic).

A female is seen regularly wearing fake ponies (ponytails) that look like she's ready for Halloween. The ponies are long, duo-color and she sometimes has them like pigtails on each side of her head. She also wears over-sized sunglasses, a big hat, and clothes that fit just a bit too tight. But don't tell her she doesn't look good. She'd slice you nine ways to someday if ya did!

Then there's this other female that has too much stomach and has the nerve to have a belly button piercing. The flab covers the ring - I know because she wears shirts/tops that are too small for her body.

Where do these people come from? Do they really believe they look good? They can't, because if they saw what I see they'd run home (leaving their vehicles on the lot, and change clothes.

Now I am no "fashionista, diva, or wanna be runway model". I am a full-figured woman who dresses modestly and moderately. I try to keep as much of me covered up as I can. I often wear large tops so that when I sit, you see no butt-crack. And my breasts aren't exposed (I am a 46DD - not easily hidden).

I even have one girl who resembles an overdrawn, over made-up, almost plastic-looking Barbie doll. If she wore anymore make-up, she'd need a bricklayers trowel to both apply and remove it.

Whatever happened to the "natural look" of the 70's?

It was clean, fresh, and above all else...R-E-A-L!

You didn't look like you spent your entire paycheck at the make-up counter at Macy's, Field's, AND Lord & Taylor's. In ONE DAY!

And men looked good too.

They wore nice jeans/slacks, neatly pressed shirts and the underwear could only be seen at the laundromat. Not everywhere but!

I am so sick of seeing hoochies: male AND female, it makes me sick.

If I have to look up from my desk and see anyone else's boobs...I am gonna scream!

If you have to constantly tug at something to make it either stay up or down...IT DON'T FIT, hence, DON'T WEAR IT! Give it to your child, or a neighbor's child. It's probably their size, 'cause it sure ain't yours.

Men: Do you realize the idea of "saggin'" your pants came from behind prison walls? That's right. Men that are incarcerated are forced to wear their pants with no belts. They do this so they cannot hang themselves while in police/law enforcement custody.

So if you want everybody and their momma to think you just got out of jail, keep wearing your britches below your butt. Maybe one day, they'll make you wear them like that all the time...behind bars.

And you know what's worse...these fools wear their stuff like this to job interviews and where I work...they get hired. What does that tell you?

I don't belong there, is one thing.

The other is; as long as no one speak out against this foolishness, it will not only continue, but get worse with each new generation.

In a minute, they'll all be runnin' around in their underwear...or worse. Nothing at all.

It starts with the parents who allow little nine and ten year old girls dress like 20 and 30 year old women - complete with make-up and $150 hairdos.

What business does a child that young have wearing anything like that? NONE! That's what.

No female needs to dress (or undress) like Shakira, J Lo, Madonna, Brittany Spears, Christine Aguilara or anyone else who struts around half-naked. If you have to "show it all" to get attention, then what will you be willing to do to keep it? Is/are it/they worth it? Are you worth more than a "cheap peek-a-boo" attire?

And dudes! Don't no decent woman want to see your underwear or second pair of pants! Not your mothers or your wives. Don't believe me, just ask 'em!

Saggin' the way you do is NOT sexy. It's lazy, shiftless and shows you have little or no care of the way you look to anyone.

And don't give me that crap about, "Don't nobody pay for my clothes but me"! That doesn't matter...we still have to look at you. And the first thing that comes to mind is...he looks stupid. I wouldn't go out with him if he were the last man on earth (unless of course the female is a hoochie. Then the above statement does not apply. Heck, she don't care how she looks either. In which case, I ask you NOT to mate. We don't need any children born of two idiotic, non-dressing, no style-havin', fools like you).

Dress like you have some "home training".

They way you dress not only influences the way others see you, but it also reflects on people like you.

Let's have some class about ourselves, people. Stop giving America the wrong impression.

Dress to success not excess, or anything less.

If it doesn't have to be seen...don't let it be seen.