The 9 Phases of a Break Up

If your boyfriend left you, then you must get ready for the 9 phases of a break up. Although the pain felt can be awful, each phase is part of the healing process. The stages of a break up are generally the following ones, but the steps can have a different order.

Overcoming a break up and especially a rejection is very similar to other types of loss and sufferance, and the phases are not too different:

1. The denial phase

"This isn't happening". During this stage, most often you wait for your boyfriend to call, as you can't believe that the relationship really ended.

The solution: You should accept the reality and admit your feelings towards this reality. Accept it, but don't be ashamed, repeating yourself those: "I should gave/ I could/ I would have done".

2. The negotiation phase

You lose nights after nights thinking that "If I change my hair color", "If I don't call him for a week", then he will change his mind.

The only solution: Admit that it's over.

3. The phase of a broken heart

You feel that your heart is broken for real. You can even feel the pain in your chest, or you're about to make a panic attack each time you see him with someone else.

The solution: Move on! Try to focus on something that makes you happy. Don't be sad thinking that your boyfriend is happy while your world is ruined. Only your experience matter and only your efforts make you happy.

5. The self-accusing phase

You're accusing yourself or you're accusing him for things you've done wrong.

The solution: Admit that nobody was wrong, as you are both responsible for the break up.

6. The phase of depression

You're feeling sad, embarrassed or unworthy of appreciation. You don't eat, you don't sleep and you imagine that there will never be love again.

The solution: Accept the pain, but not fall in self-compassion. Keep yourself busy with activities and projects.

7. The phase of anger

You're feeling angry because you have been rejected, you can even develop a sense of hatred.

The solution: It's ok to feel angry, but do not overdo, and do not let yourself affected by all the sufferance felt before.

8. The acceptance phase

In the end, you believe and accept that it's over. You're not waiting anymore to be called by him and you start feeling more relaxed.

8. The healing phase

Life begins to regain its normal course. You feel ready to go out with your friends and to meet new people. You haven't forgotten, but you stopped crying because of a break up.