The Age-Amorphousness of "Boy"

In ordinary American English the word "boy" is often used in reference to someone older than 18. In "boys' night out," the "boys" are married men, not adolescent (as in the parallel "girls' night out." Although "boys will be boys" is often applied to children, it is also used for those aged more than 18 engaging in prototypically masculine behavior, usually by someone with doubts about the maturity of much masculine behavior. (In reference usually to cross-dressing, there is a parallel "boys will be girls" in which the stimulus is almost always males aged more than 18).

In the Iberian (and more general circum-Mediterranean) view, to be a full-fledged "man" one has to have sired sons (or at least children). Anyone who has not has not proved his fitness to be classified as "a man," which leaves some heterosexual and many homosexual males socially still "boys." This view was definitely carried to the New World by conquistadors and has not entirely dissipated among Latinos.

A more poignant and notorious instance of "boy" being severed from any indication of age is the white supremacist, predominantly Southern pattern of calling African American males "boy" regardless of their age - even fathers of fathers of male children in their 70s and 80s to those who considered that only whites were "real men."

Well-known book title with "boys" being adult include The Boys of Summer by Roger Kahn, about the Brooklyn Dodgers of yore, and Boys on the Bus by Timothy Crouse, aboutnews reporters (also known as "newsmen") covering the 1972 presidential election. Less well-known is Boys on the War Front, which recalls the use of "our boys over there" in regard to soldiers (not minors) in every foreign war of the 20th and 21st centuries. The "Boys on the Side" in the 1985 movie of that name are males, adult males, not adolescents. The musical groups "The Backstreet Boys" and "Boys on the Docks" and even the "Junior Boys" are not minors.

Another interesting locution, though one that is less common than it used to be is "college boy." The contrast is not "college man," but someone who did not go to college. "College boy" was used, usually with disdain, about fellow employees. Those in college are almost entirely aged 18 or more, and the college graduates referred to by the term (when a lower proportion of the workforce had some college education) were 22+.

How rest rooms are labeled involves many lexical contrasts, but those marked "Boys" and "Girls" do not provide additional "mens' rooms" and "ladies' rooms" for adult males and females. That is, they use the terms in regards to sex (male/female) not age. Similarly, I have heard "boyfriend" applied to males in their 80s.

And saying that someone is "boyish" or "girlish" or looks "boyish" or "girlish" almost always (except in some instances where the "boyish" one is female or the "girlish" one is male) is used in reference to someone aged more than 25, and often aged more than 40.

Those playing high-school students in many Hollywood productions are very often in ther 20s (and in foreign-language films, as well).

Usage in gay culture

"Boy" meaning male rather than someone aged less than 18 is even more frequent in gay culture (where "boyish" is a compliment without the edge of being lacking in the maturity appropriate for someone who is no longer all that young).

There are (at least) three series of short films about gay men: "Boys Briefs" (an obvious double entendre: the males are also not in their underwear particularly much), "Boys' Shorts," "Boys' Life," and "Boys in Love." Some of these short films involve adolescents, but many do not.

Neighborhoods with concentrations of gay bars (which are forbidden even to admit persons less than 18) are often called "Boystown(s)." This does not mean that the area is "where the boys are"-even "boys" in their 18+ teen years, but as places with establishments in which gay men meet and socialize.

On Daddyhunt.com, Silverfox.com, and elsewhere, men into their 60s seek "daddies" who are dominant partners. On one of these adult-only sites there were 660 users with "boy" or "boi" a part of their user name.Those playing the "boy" role in daddy/boy relationships are not only older than 21, but the "daddy" may be younger than the "boy." That is, "boy" is a role that is not only not based on being a minor (absolute/chronological age difference) but need not be based on relative age difference.

Those presenting themselves as "boys" may be seeking discipline and being dominated by a take-charge guy. This may include mentoring (those said to be "mentored" in the dominant culture usage are often in their 20s and sometimes older; whether there is a sexual element to pedagogy and mentorship varies; similarly "sons" continue to be sons into their 70s even those who have fathered children).

Role-playing in the "leather subculture" (this term is a shorthand for the predominant social location of eroticizing domination) does not involve incest or connote (let alone require!) the submissive males to be "real boys" in the sense of legal minors.

The early play about a gay clique, "The Boys in the Band," later filmed, has no adolescents or children in it: all the characters are adults. Similarly, in a notorious dismissal of gay men by Midge Decter, "Boys on the Beach," the "boys" were gay adults summering on Fire Island whom Decter regarded as frivolous (like boys, unlike heterosexual males supporting wives and children-though some gay males support children they have sired or adopted).

Since siring children is conceived by many people in many places including the United Sates as prerequisite to full status as an adult male, gay men are treated as less than "men," and flaunt this derogation by calling themselves and each other "boys."

Fuzzy boundaries of social concepts

Social concepts generally have fuzzy boundaries. There are many cultures in which the biological event of puberty (with its visible markers) defines change of adolescent (by/girl) to adult (man/woman). Many of those cultures also have puberty ceremonies. In that these may not be held every year, there are individuals who have attained puberty but are waiting for the next puberty rite before they are fully fledged as adults.

In the United States, the subculture with something of this is Jewish, though there are scheduling considerations for bar and bat mitzvah ceremonies. Moreover, having gone through a bat or bar mitzvah is usually not followed by the initiated youth ceasing to live in the family home or ceasing to go to school, so Jewish youth are still called "boy" or "girl" after this.

Conclusion

Given the valuation of youthfulness (often disconnected from youths) in gay culture and majority (straight/heterosexual) culture, the appellation "boy" does not denote someone aged less than eighteen. Even the connotation of being a specific age is often not intended and often not understood as being meant. Those called "boys" or presenting themselves as "boys" are often more than eighteen years old.