The Agony of Step and Adoptive Parents: Focus on Reactive Attachment Disorder

Angelina Jolie's multiple adoptions are well-publicized, but her psychological history of emotional problems cast a doubt on her competency to handle adopted children. Fox News posted the transcript of the interview of Bill O'Reilley with two psychology experts. The segment was entitled "Is Angelina Jolie Addicted to Adoption?" Both psychotherapists raised some concerns.

Would a woman notorious for past history of self-mutilation, depression, filling emotional emptiness with sex and drugs make a good adoptive parent? Will her children "inherit" these or similar emotional disorders? How will she handle the pressures of being popular, having a career, managing a marriage and caring for an increasing number of children, who might have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?

What is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is misdiagnosed as ADHD (Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder), ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), Autism, Asperger, Bipolar disorder, BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and PSTD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Due to the limited research in this disorder, it is very poorly understood. Thus, many adoptive parents and stepparents are led from one disorder to another. Many symptoms of RAD can be found in other disorders causing immense confusion.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry said that "The exact cause of RAD is unknown. Children at risk for RAD are those that have experienced inadequate care in out-of-home placements like hospital, residential program, foster care or orphanage. Other children who have had multiple or traumatic losses or changes in primary caregiver are equally at risk similar to the abused and neglected children."

Signs and Symptoms of RAD

The symptoms of RAD can be like the opposite ends of a pole. A child with RAD may be detached, unresponsive, hold back emotions, or withdrawn. This type of RAD is called Inhibited. In this type of RAD, the caregiver acted with unpredictable reactions to their baby. Thus, the child developed defense mechanisms to cope with the loss of trust. They begin to be detached so they won't get hurt.

The other side of the pole is called Disinhibited RAD. It consists of traits that show inability to trust a person because relationships have been interrupted so many times. They developed coping mechanisms to trust the next available person that can give them attention, soothing and consolation. The RAD child loses their ability to discriminate the person they should trust.

The Challenge to Adoptive and Step Parents

RAD children's projection of their inner disturbance bewilders their parents. They can be self-absorbed. They can have little empathy. They may seem defiant to their parent's efforts. On the other side of the spectrum, some parents deal with RAD children who are charismatic, shallow, and conforming. In the presence of their parents, they are obedient. But when their parents are not looking, they will do and act as they please. The emotions invested in their parent-child relationship are not genuine. In blended families, these children can appear compliant but actually sabotage their stepparent's efforts to keep the family together. Series of attempts to disrupt family life confuse their parents. Their lack of conscience to their negative behavior breeds resentment and emotional distance. RAD children are very skillful in projecting their inner disturbances in the form of disobedience and chaos.

Conclusion

RAD is a new disorder with few empirical data. The available literatures are confusing, conflicting and unclear. Treatment options are not defined to the disorder, substantiated or readily available in all counties. Counselors specializing in RAD are limited.

Stepparents and adoptive parents of RAD children need considerable emotional support to the challenging behaviors of these children. By the time, these parents receive a diagnosis of their children's illness, they are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They are in crisis mode. Parents of RAD children are having a difficult time relaxing and enjoying life. The trauma of raising RAD children has weakened their spirits to the point of depression.

Parents of RAD kids feel conflicting emotions. They are sad about the past abusive life of their step or adopted child. However, they also have to deal with the inability of their child to reciprocate with trust.

Would the compassionate love of Angelina Jolie to her children be enough to handle a manifestation of RAD in the future? Many adoptive and step parents with RAD children wished it was all what these children need.

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Next articles of Mrs. Treasures will address the different stages of acceptance of a parent with RAD children, the point of view of RAD children, and the intervention needed to save the children and the family.

Sources:

"Is Angelina Jolie Addicted to Adoption?" Fox News, O'Reilley Factor, March 12, 2008

"Insecure Attachment and Reactive Attachment Disorder", Helpguide.org

Roy H Lubit, MD, PhD ,"Child Abuse and Neglect: Reactive Attachment Disorder", EMedicine.org

"Reactive Attachment Disorder & Detachment Issues", Radkid.org