The All-Baconator Diet and Other Weight Loss Plans

This article is a follow up to a previous one, "The Woolly Mammoth Diet," named so because mammoth meat is high in protein and low in fat, which I believe to be true despite any research or personal knowledge, because I have never seen a picture of an overweight caveman. That article was meant to be humorous, which some people did not get. Before you leave me angry messages, please understand that this article also is meant to be tongue-in-cheek and meant to emphasize some key diet points such as calorie counts and portion control, not to be a substitute for a real dietary guideline. For that, check out my previous article mentioned above. You will need a good portion of mammoth meat, three hundred pounds of white rice, and as much chocolate as you can get your hands on.

The All-Baconator Diet

According to the official Wendy's website, a Baconator contains 830 calories. Add a soda and a large fries, and you get around 1500 calories. The average human is said to need around 2,000 calories a day, so if you eat only a Baconator, divided into four portions (for four small meals a day), you will actually be under your calorie count, and you can lose weight! Do this every day, and you too can look like a model. The only downfall to this plan is that the Baconator contains 51 grams of fat, which is 21 grams over the recommended daily intake. So you actually better not eat anything the next day (That's when you can have the soda. You'll have to give the fries to someone else). This diet suggestion, ridiculous as it is, shows us how our brains trick us when it comes to portion control. We see a bacon cheeseburger, bacon cheeseburger equals sandwich, which in our minds equals a meal...which of course should include a side and a drink. Without knowing it, we have consumed 1500 calories, and a whopping 77 grams of fat. However, that's not to say you can't have a Baconator while on a diet. If you divide it in half, you are consuming 415 calories and about 26 grams of fat. Not great, but if you eat very little the rest of the day, and only eat fat-free foods, you can still stay below 1500 - 2000 calories.

The Eat Half of It Diet, revisited

This is an eating plan I created not because I was trying to lose weight, but because I had very little money, and was trying to stretch my grocery budget. The plan was simple -- whatever I was going to eat, I would only eat half of it. Half of a sandwich, half a bag of chips, three cookies instead of six cookies, etc. When you first try this weight loss plan, it will look like you don't have a lot on your plate. My husband and I both grew up in families where a meal consisted of a plate piled high with chicken, rice, beans, and tortillas, or cornbread, collard greens, and pork. I'm sure many of you can relate to this, and remember being scolded for not "cleaning your plate". Your mom was half right -- it's not good to waste food, but you don't need to dump it in the garbage. You need to put less of it on the plate to begin with. I won't list the correct portion sizes for meat, pasta, etc., because it is so easily found online (see sources for one website), but they are smaller than what the typical American considers to be a portion.

The No Excuses Diet

When I first came up with the idea for this article, I was watching what I ate, and helping my husband and a friend lose weight as well. However, when it comes to diet and exercise, we all have a tendency to "start tomorrow". Starting tomorrow is a great excuse to have "one last" big desert. The problem is, there is always a tomorrow, and there will always be an excuse to not exercise. I found it to be an interesting coincidence that my husband always twisted his ankle coming up the stairs on the days he had vowed to jog after work. My friend gained weight because she swore she didn't want to offend her relatives who cooked up vats of fattening food. Luckily, we are all here to keep each other accountable. I'm not saying you can't lose weight alone, but having a support person or persons sure makes it easier. Diets as we think of them really don't work. You can follow a strict eating regimen for two weeks, lose 15 pounds, and put it back on again as soon as you return to your regular eating habits. You must make a lifestyle change, and that does take planning and work...but you can start today. Start by making small healthy choices such as a piece of fruit instead of a slice of cake. Save your tomorrows for constantly bettering your plan by looking up fat and calorie counts of fast foods (which can be found on their official websites) and actually reading the backs of your packages at the grocery store. The next "tomorrow" can be used to make recipe cards of delicious low fat foods, and the next can be used to plan a hike, a bike ride, or a canoe trip. Small steps that build on yesterday's progress let you change your daily habits without being overwhelmed by a sudden, drastic modification of everything you've been eating and doing.

In review:

1. Avoid foods with enormous calorie counts, or at least split them in half.
2. Be mindful of portion sizes
3. Lose weight with a friend!