The Alleged Cancer Diagnosis of Patrick Swayze and My Own Experience

According to the National Enquirer, 55-year-old actor Patrick Swayze is dying with cancer. Swayze, best known for his role in the movie Dirty Dancing, was diagnosed in January with pancreatic cancer and told he has only 5 weeks to live. Since the diagnosis, the cancer has spread to other organs, despite radical chemotherapy. According to the Enquirer, he has lost approximately 20 pounds and is now on a liquid diet because he cannot keep solid food down, and doctors are no longer hopeful that any treatments will be successful.

Finding out that yourself or a loved one is going to die is something that is shocking and totally unexpected. Most people have pondered the question "what if I found out news like this?" I certainly have, wondering if I would fall apart or handle it with dignity and grace.

I have personally lost several of my loved ones to cancer. Finding out someone you love has been diagnosed with cancer is not an automatic death sentence as it once was. Early diagnosis and new treatments have made the possibility of survival much better than it was years ago.

When I found out my father had throat cancer due to years of smoking, I wasn't sure how bad it was. He never wanted to talk about his actual diagnosis or his prognosis. He was a jokester and the last thing he ever wanted us to do was worry about him. As it turns out, he was not actually given a prognosis. He was given many treatment options, and he took advantage of all of them. He managed to hold on for two years after his diagnosis. At times his health report would look like there was actual improvement. At other times, it appeared that he was going downhill fast. When his cancer spread to other organs and it became evident that all treatments had been exhausted with him, we all knew that his days were numbered.

His mental attitude was one in which he was determined to continue to do everything for himself. It is very difficult for someone who is used to being independent to come to the realization that they can no longer do so. I remember vividly how my father was determined not to get into the bed. Somewhere inside he knew that if he got into the bed, he would never be getting out of it.

He also insisted on going to the bathroom without assistance. He was so weak. By the last couple of weeks of his life, he had lost so much weight he was practically skeletal looking. The last time I saw him, he was sitting up in his recliner...trying to carry on a conversation, even though it seemed like every word was a huge effort. And when he needed to go to the restroom, he refused assistance. Once in there, we heard a crash, and went in to find that he had fallen into the bathtub. After that, he agreed to get into the bed, which had been brought in by Hospice. It was only a few days later that he passed away.

My mother-in-law also died with cancer. Unlike my father, she did have a prognosis of several months. But like my father, she held on for the longest time, refusing to get into the bed. I remember vividly her sitting on the living room sofa...so weak and barely able to sit up alone. Sometimes she would fall over into a reclining position and be too weak to raise back up. So she would just stay there and sleep. Like my father when it go to a point where she had lost so much weight it was dangerous for her to be up and about, she finally agreed to get into the Hospice bed.

Patrick Swayze will most likely go through very similar emotions. Unlike my father or mother-in-law, his prognosis is very short, being given only 5 weeks to live. He will have a much shorter adjustment period than my family members had, so that will definitely play a part in how he deals with the news. According to the reports, he has already started losing a lot of weight and is not able to really hold any solid food down. I would guess that his health is going to decline very rapidly. It seems that once the weight starts rapidly coming off, a person's health goes downhill very quickly.

Hopefully, he will come to that place of peace sometime before the end, so that he can just rest and let his family take care of him. It is so difficult to let go of one's independence at such a time...not wanting to feel like a burden. Hopefully he will realize, as my relative's eventually did, that family is there to love and care for us during such times.