The Apotheosis

I have undergone quite the arduous task by attaining my postgraduate diploma. And, I must say, with the utmost humility, that I did climb pretty high in doing so. I am reminded of the image painted onto the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, where the image of God resembles that of Zeus in that Disney movie, Hercules. For those of you who don't remember, he has a strong chin, broad shoulders, a muscular physique and just enough body fat to make him look like he enjoys a good slab of pork belly every now and again.

The particular image I am referring to depicts Adam resting atop a hillside while God approaches on a cloud to give him life. Their fingers are just an inch apart, but enough has been implied. All God needs is to touch us with his finger to give us life of the everlasting variety. Adam may have been the first man created and he may have touched God's finger. But, once again I say with the utmost humility, I did one better: I shook his hand.

It started awhile back, when I was still at film school trying to become the first great Malaysian storyteller. Some time in final year (of the three year degree course) I stumbled onto a book by Joseph Campbell entitled "The Hero With A Thousand Faces." It taught me of the commonality in all great stories: the hero who overcomes insurmountable odds to attain the ultimate boon. And in doing so becomes a "God." This story has been told so many times and in so many different incarnations that good `ole Joseph felt the need to categorize all these characters and pack them up into a neat little box.

It was in this book that I came across a fancy term called the apotheosis. In the most basic of distinctions this word means, "the process of being deified." When I read this, I took it upon myself to place this definition of God onto my shelf of self-proclaimed truths. I lived by it, to the point of obsession. Every thought, every feeling, was focused on this idea of God. I shunned the Catholic Church believing that I had found something much greater than anything the bible could ever tell me. I was convinced that I had found the truth about Jesus Christ. He was just another character, in another story, to be put into the box of iconic figures such as John Rambo and Luke Skywalker.

I believed it was my calling to become a filmmaker. Some convoluted expression of destiny overwhelmed my being and after a short-lived tenure at Media Prima I decided to attend film school... again. This time it was at the illustrious New York Film Academy in Los Angeles (Universal Studios Branch). I wanted two things; one, to take my new found understanding of story and develop it further and into a writing career; two, I wanted to understand the Hollywood Studio System so as to better maneuver myself in their film industry. In some semblance, I got exactly what I wanted, though I had to retreat on account of an expired visa.

I spent a year developing "the great American movie", and to some degree I managed to do just that. The script isn't perfect, but believe you me, if we sat down to discuss it, I would justify it to the end of time. It is a good version of the Great American movie, not a great one.

When I finally touched down in Kuala Lumpur in September of 2008, I had changed a great deal. I wasn't angry anymore and I certainly was not searching. I had found my own personal answer to the truth about God. To me - the scholar - the answer came in the form of my thesis movie script. It is and will always be that way in my mind, but I will only think of it as an academic answer to what God is. It's a hero, an inspiring figure. Still, the accumulation of all my experiences proves to be a holistic, even after so many separate obstacles in which I had to face.

Schooling is a right of passage for the every Catholic man and the journey of Jesus Christ - at least to me - is just that as well, a right of passage. I may have spent the last year and a half looking for my niche, but I am slowly starting to realize that my place as a writer had been set from the beginning. And as I shook the hand of God - of whose face I did not see - my fate was sealed. I did not understand at first what it had meant, but now I think I understand. I have hit my peak and my place as a writer will forever be set in stone. And I will live out my days worshipping the Lord Jesus Christ, God's only son, because like me, he too had to go through a process before becoming who he is.

There is no doubt in my mind that Joseph Campbell's intent was not todefame the divinity of Jesus Christ. Besides providing George Lucas and the Wachowski brothers' larger than life hero characters, he also provided me with an intellectual answer as to why Christ was born to be our savior. He would have had to have similar thoughts on the subject as I, because as a writer and a Catholic himself, there is that responsibility.

Like I said before, I may have struggled to reach the hand of God, but I believe now that it was part of his divine plan from the beginning. The apotheosis happened for me and it happened for Jesus Christ. No doubt! We spend every Sunday with Christ, trying to unveil the mysteries surrounding his very short life. I may not have the best insight but if there is anything I can tell you, it is that there is only meaning in meeting God, if you work for his warmth.

It is tough and a laborious journey skyward. But, if I reached it, so can you. After he shook my hand and congratulated me for finding him - and in my own way as well - he tapped me on forehead with his palm and sent me crashing back down through the clouds and back to earth. It was so high that I dare say, "I will be free falling forever."