The Arranged Marriage System in India - All Commitment and No Love?
Asian Indians boast that 90% of the marriages in India end up in success, without divorce, unlike in western countries where almost 50% of marriages end up in divorce.
One has to take a closer look at the system of marriages in India, and the reason behind why it has a high 90% success ratio.
Most of the Indians, thanks to the standards set by the Indian society, marry a person they don't know anything about at a young age. The parents arrange the marriage. Horoscope and astrology are used by parents mostly, to find a suitable match for their kids. If the horoscope and astrological signs match, then the parents look at the family history of the other family and the marriage is arranged within a few days. In many cases the guy or the girl would not get more than a few minutes to talk to the guy or the girl he or she will be married to soon.
Once the marriage is arranged, and conducted, it is expected that the guy and the girl gets to know each other, and start falling in love miraculously.
Marriage is considered a life long commitment, and the Indian society dictates that the guy and the girl will have to learn love each other, what ever it takes. The guy and the girl are expected to make the arranged marriage successful at any cost. If the guy or the girl finds out that they have nothing in common to fall in love, then the parents will put as much pressure as possible to make them fall in love, in the interest of saving the marriage.
For the Indian society and the Indian parents, all that counts is saving the marriage, and making it succeed. The happiness of the parties involved in the marriage is not something that counts a lot. Success of marriage is defined as the guy and the girl living together, legally married, irrespective of whether they are happy or completely unhappy.
There are numerous cases where the guy or the girl is so unhappy with marriage, and just want to get out of it, but the pressure from the Indian society and the parents will almost always make it impossible to dare a divorce.
"Bury the happiness, save the marriage" is the slogan that would aptly explain Indian arranged marriage success rate.
Published by Raj
I am an Information Technology Professional , living in Long Island and working in NYC. I am also the NYC Organizer and team lead for http://www.2012draftsarahcommittee.com/ Some of my other writings... View profile
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3 Comments
Post a CommentPart 3:
Basically the difference between the Indian and other external cultures is that in India a man and a
woman start understanding and loving one another after their marriage . In other cultures it is Love
before Marriage, i.e. the other way around. That is why in India more than 80% of the marriages survive
until death. None feels worse for getting into an arranged marriage.In fact it saves time and money of
say an American Boy in dating his would-be wife.A Hindu in my mind typifies a devout Catholic of the
Christian Order.
Maybe the above writer after tasting the free-ranging life of the American Society for a while has
started to develop the 7 year itch.If one has an open mind to live equally and equitably with his wife and
allow her the headroom to be free, an arranged marriage can go into a 1000 years.
The success of Love marriage by dating and premarital capers or a pure Arranged marriage depends on
ONE'S OWN ATTITUDE AND ITS WORTH IS IN THE EYE OF THE HOLDER/BEHOLDER
faithful to their husbands, even if he
were to be a mere stone or a blade of grass. They forsook life after the demise of their husbands.In the
higher order people were knowledgeable and did not resort to such wrong beliefs.
On the custom of marriages,even today parents go through the time-tested ways of finding matches
for their wards.They do background checks like the family of the boy,his health,education,employment
and their status in society. A Boy or girl gets married who have agreeable templates of social values. In
most cases the marriages last a life time. We have no idea of Divorce in our lives. A husband and wife
live through thick and thin until death parts them.
Indian culture dates back to 1000's of years of civilization,even preceding Christ.Hinduism that has no beginning or end reflects the way of living .No one is the author of the Hindu Religion,and we have no one religious book to follow.
One is to be borne as a Hindu to experience than to know or understand it by conversion. Life codes are very simple. Trust God,Be dutiful to Parents,Wife and one's family, be helpful to Society,Don't look for rewards which God gives you as you deserve.On these tenets this Hindu society has lasted for hundreds of generations without chaos. That was also a reason even the British who ruled India for over 350 years since the times of East India Company could not break the roots of our way of Life. In fact British respected the orderly Indian Society and respected their talents.
Of course in the name of religion some strata of the society practiced certain superstitious beliefs like suicide after one's husband's death etc. Women were fiercely faithf