The Art of Charming: The Story Teller Vs. The Lying Liar

In a world in which honesty is scare and only spotted owls are harder to find, lying may not appear to be a charming virtue.

And of course, it isn't.

But some of us just can't help but lie. This condition would be called "Story Telling" or maybe "Compulsive Lying" by the more cynical.

But even the cynical have to admit that there is a time for tall tales and that there is a way to use your crafted skill of deceitful web weaving to be a charmer rather than a lying bastard.

It works like this: amazing stories (lies) are far more interesting than boring ones (true stories). This is why people have sat around the camp fires for eons telling various crazy stories about birds creating the world or Lindsey Lohan driving sober.

The only problem is when people believe you are telling the truth they then tend to feel foolish, cheated, or hoodwinked when they discover you were lying. But they wont feel that way if they realize that you weren't attempting to fool them, but simply entertain them.

The same basic principal can apply to any instance in which you are meeting somebody for the first time: you are talking to Mr. or Miss Hottie and you want to get his/her attention.

Do you, A) Tell him/her about your day that included walking to class, going to the gym, pounding 4 beers, throwing up and then pounding 4 more? or B) Do you tell him/her an entertaining story about how you discovered a new species of insect during your morning charity fun run? (obviously there are other options here, but we use these two for the sake of simplicity)

The correct answer is B. Trust me, I have tried A many times and it generally gets you yawns, weird looks and a quick exit stage left.

Do it like this: Start a story that begins incredibly but plausibly (example: "I got to meet Obama once you know"), to grab full attention. Then build the story up to a point that eventually is totally absurd but funny. And funny is key, as you want him/her laughing with you about your story and not irritated that you wasted his/her time with a stupid or offensive lie.

For example, in the Obama case, start talking about how you were traveling through Chicago one time, visiting a friend at Law School there where he was a professor. You and your friend attended a BBQ that Obama just happened to attend as well. You three got a chance to talk and somehow got on the topic of Beer-bongs, which resulted in a challenge. You and Obama competed, got really drunk, and went to another party. Interject any number of random, wild tidbits, maybe ending with you guys tipping cows or him suggesting you run as his Vice President or something.

But again: be sure to exaggerate to such an extent at this point that it becomes obvious it is a tall tale but still positive. You don want to come across as smearing somebody's character or seeming spiteful rather than funny.

The take-away message here is Don't struggle with your natural, God-given tendency to lie but instead embrace it. Create interesting stories that will grab attention, entertain, and make people remember you. Just don't make a fool of them.

If your audience is not easily offended or irritated (this is a good way to weed those out, by the way), and your story is funny, you are likely to make a good impression. Much better, anyways, than telling him/her what your day was actually like. Unless you actually did happen to pick up Megan Fox hitchhiking on a cross country road trip to a Twinkie eating fund raiser for the oil spill clean up.

That happened to me once and let me tell you, Megan has a thing for Twinkies.