The Art of the Cover Letter

The following is a revised letter for employment put together by a professional cover letter writing firm:

Dear Sir,

I am writing to express my eager interest in the secretarial job for which you had advertised. With extensive experience in a full range of positions, I believe you shall find that I am well-qualified to handle even the largest challenges which may come my way.

I began working after high school and immediately showed both talent and enthusiasm in the performance of my work duties. My first job was with a social organization situated within my hometown community. In that capacity, I coordinated a variety of hands-on services and effectively managed a full range of special requests.

Subsequently, I moved to the city and, initially, worked on a freelance basis. At all times, I ensured that I projected an image commensurate with my professional standing. I treated all requests with equal enthusiasm, regardless of the particular client's age, professional standing, ethnic background, cultural orientation, religious beliefs, or physical infirmities.

To gain a measure of stability in my career, I eventually joined an established organization ran by a successful manager. I applied my full energy and enthusiasm to the job, bending over backwards to ensure client satisfaction. The quality treatment afforded to me by the manager clearly recognized my outstanding contribution.

After some time, the organization with which I was associated encountered legal difficulties. The manager was unable to continue operations and all of the workers were let go. However, I did not remain unemployed long. A competitor of my old organization, aware of my unique abilities and enthusiasm, snatched me right up.

My career was progressing well. However, I then fell victim to an occupational hazard and was forced to take a leave of absence to recuperate. While I was on leave, a younger professional was hired to fill in temporarily. Unfortunately, when I was able to return, the manager informed me that my job had been downsized.

Despite my recent setback, I remain ready, willing, and able to bring to bear the full brunt of my professional experience and expertise on your behalf. I believe you will find that I am attentive and results-oriented. I can be either persistent or yielding, depending on the requirements of the situation. I have outstanding mechanical and communication skills. In addition, I am proficient in the use of specialized equipment and have demonstrated ability in the effective lubrication of work processes.

I possess a proven track record of success in the management of workplace frictions and the administration of personnel needs. My interpersonal skills are highly developed and I am both flexible and thorough in my approach. I afford client satisfaction the absolute highest priority. At the same time, I approach each job with the utmost professionalism and efficiency. As I like to say: if something can be done in an hour, then one should not stay up all night doing it.

Thank you for your time and kind consideration. I sincerely hope that we can schedule a time to get together and discuss my qualifications in person.

Sincerely,

Molly Cheeks

The following is the original, unrevised letter submitted to the cover letter writing firm by Miss Molly Cheeks:

Honey,

I can satisfy all of your sexual needs.

I started stripping right out of high school and the club patrons loved me.

I started turning tricks when I moved to the city. I was willing to service just about anybody who could pay me.

I didn't like it on my own too much, so I eventually got with a pimp. In appreciation of the bread I brought home, he didn't beat me too much.

After a while, the pimp got busted and I was turned out. Luckily, another pimp picked me up, so I got back to doing what I did best.

Unexpectedly, I came down with an STD and had to go to the hospital. By the time I got back on my feet, I had been replaced with a younger girl.

Despite my past problems, I am ready, willing, and able to show you the time of your life, honey. Trust me when I say: I know what I'm doing.

I'll do what needs to be done, baby, but if you want me to spend the night, that'll be extra.

Let's get together.

Yours (temporarily and only if you can afford it),

Molly Cheeks