The Art & Gift of Self-Forgiveness

Ask yourself, "would I speak so unkindly to someone else?" "Would I make the same kind of demands, expectations or treat others in the manner in which I do myself -internally?"

Let's make this our guideline. We have been working on treating others with love, kindness, respect, compassion and empathy. So it is important to remember, if we are not treating or speaking to our inner being in the same way -then we are not "feeling" it on the inside. If we are not feeling it on the inside, then we don't "have it" to give to others.

You can only give to others, what actually exists inside you; what you "live with" on a regular basis.

For example, if your internal self talk is normally things like, "I can't do this or that; nothing works out; I don't get my hopes up; I don't believe; I'm a failure; etc." Then the attitude and type of "support" you will only be able to offer others genuinely is, "maybe things will work out, but don't hold your breath" or "don't dream too big because it'll never happen" or don't believe in me or others or anything, etc.

I think you're getting the point. It doesn't provide a strong support system because your own foundation is weak. So you have to have a strong foundation to offer strength and encouragement to others. And if you are wondering if you can do this -yes, you can!

Let's start with self-forgiveness. Letting go of all the self inflicted pain and mistakes that can never be changed, but you now can learn not to repeat. Yes, it can be that simple -so you can move on with your life.

Understand it takes greater energy to stay in the state of anger, depression, upset and negative emotions towards your self and others. As this is not our natural state of being. It is in our human nature to be happy, peaceful, compassionate and willing to "let go" or forgive with greater ease. It may be easier to recall such times from childhood or by watching young children today. As, yes, there may be moments of frustration or upset in efforts to communicate desires, wants and even moments of selfishness. However, it is quick forgiven, forgotten and all move on and back into the state of joyfulness and degrees of understanding one another.

So let's start with an envisioning practice that is nearly identical to the practice of forgiving others.

Envision the circumstance, your self and person(s) surrounded by God and/or Creations Holy and healing light. (The general process of envisioning a soft white light brings a sense of serenity, security and safety. This also is a process that symbolizes enlightenment, healing, and clarity, a sense of peace and a higher awareness and direction.)

Imagine yourself and the circumstances having many layers to your being and the event (much like an onion).

Envision layers being peeled away. That which created the "not nice" part of you or the event (anger, hatred, fears, doubts; the behaviors themselves or those parts of you). Continue until you get to a point that you are able to picture your Spirit and/or at an age when these events didn't happen; so that you can look lovingly unto your own image and forgive wholeheartedly- that person; which is still you. Willingly and able to remember this part of you, is also a child of God and/or a person created with the same opportunities as anyone to live, experience, learn, grow, make mistakes and to be human.

Repeat this imagery as often as needed until you have completely released the negative emotions you have associated with the experience and can "look" upon your self and the circumstances without these feelings, and with genuine forgiveness. You will feel a sense of readiness to move forward. A feeling of release, clarity; even a "weight" being lifted.

Remember to continue to move forward, allowing the healing that you have accepted into your being to continue. When possible work on the process incorporating reconciliation; in which the person(s) are directly involved (where the expression of forgiveness & acceptance is verbal; in person or by correspondence) so all parties may heal & grow with the tools & gifts of forgiving and being forgiven. You will feel a greater sense of fulfillment, freedom and healing in this process as well.

Recognize the "new" day, and that new memories and relationships can be created or recreated as all are non-perfect in human learning's, that can learn and grow -even from trial and error (even when it hurts from time to time).

In the process of growth, human error often occurs -sometimes with great pains, and gratefully other times with smaller slips. These are the times when we must remember each other as brothers and sisters; friends learning in a world created by the same energy and Creator. There is nothing that isn't beautiful made by this Creator. Yes, we create with freewill some of the opposite. However, remember you always have the choice of how to respond, how to feel & if your going to keep the "poison" flowing within your being or be lifted by a compassionate love & light above your circumstances creating peace with the tool and gift of forgiveness and being forgiven.

Just as a snake bite itself isn't lasting. The bite is quick, even though painful, yet then it is over in an instant. However it is the venom that can course through the veins creating more pain, agony, destroying limbs, organs and eventually killing you.

This is the same with the dark, negative emotions that, if chosen to be held within, do to you as well -with pain, anger, resentment, fear, offensiveness, defensiveness, doubt, worry.

The glorious news -is it can all stop here and now! With your choice to move on and move up into a compassionate loving embrace within your self with forgiveness, being forgiven, moving forward, reconciling (either in person when able, or in your heart by envisioning your communication) and accepting the process and peace! And remember, when reconciling, don't take along fear and trepidation -take peace, joy, compassion and empathy!

Understanding this process, putting it into practice, you can move forward in your life and live more fully.

In the development of personal growth and self discovery there is the joy of experiencing peace, the inner sense of "knowing" and the "ah-ha" moment. This is when we are able to move in another direction, make changes we find more desirable and focus our attention on what we do want to co-create in life. In this we begin living fuller, happier lives -loving to live and living to love!