The Art of Giving Feedback

In Teach Yourself Counselling, Aileen Milne offers great advice for people who want to teach themselves the skill of helping others through their problems. This article expands upon Milne's advice for delivering sound feedback. This advice is useful for people in helping or supervisory professions, including doctors, nurses, lawyers, teachers, counselors, social workers, managers, and others. Providing good feedback also aids in confidential relationships with relatives and friends.

Among other advice concerning feedback, Milne recommends these tips: state what you want to say clearly, don't be judgmental, utilize "you" and "I" remarks to make communication specific to you and the person you are evaluating, and choose words that are both neutral and objective.

Speak Clearly

Just like any form of communication, providing feedback requires you to articulate your thoughts well. Since feedback can be highly subjective (even when you are trying to be objective), you should use clear language and state what you mean. You should also speak up and make eye contact so that your feedback feels genuine to the receiver. Don't leave too much open to inference or interpretation. The less clear that you are, the more potential there is to be misunderstood.

Avoid Judgment

When someone seeks help with a problem such as job performance or mental health, it helps to talk with a supportive person. If you are to suspend judgment, you will have to try to keep your own values and biases out of the conversation. Giving feedback without being judgmental requires really using observation and trying to see problems from another person's perspective.

"You" and "I" Statements

This objective is very clear. According to Milne, the "you" statements are when you are referring to something about the other person. For example, "You did a very good job solving that problem at work." The "I" statement is when you state clearly what you think, believe, or feel. For example, "I did not understand what you meant when you said too many nightmares were plaguing your life this month."

Be Neutral and Objective

Along with suspending judgment, neutrality and objectivity are useful qualities for giving feedback. This strategy involves again trying to be a third party observer or trying to step into the other person's shoes. When you make remarks in your feedback, your remarks should not be ridden with your own opinions. You should also avoid comparing a person to yourself or to other people. Try to look at the person's dilemma as personal and be as specific as possible in your feedback without jumping to conclusions or making the wrong connections with other information bouncing around in your mind.

The other aspect of objectivity is not bringing your personal problems to negatively impact the advice you give. For example, if you were divorced and you are helping someone through a divorce, keep your own attitudes about divorce out of your feedback.

Being a good provider of feedback is a great skill to develop over time. If you can practice these suggestions, you will become more sought after for counseling or advice.