The Art of Holiday Shopping for Teenaged Boys and Young Men

As October inches toward November, the unmistakible fact is that the holidays will soon be upon us. I truly believe that there is really only a very small percentage of us consumers who enjoy gift shopping. For most of us, it seems like we're trying to impose our own tastes, our own sense of fashion, our own wish for the perfect gift upon our (somewhat beleaguered) recipients. Over the years, I've come to realize that the hardest segment of the population for whom to purchase a holiday gift (or any gift, for that matter) is that demographic of 'teenaged' boys, young men between the ages of 13 to 19. Oh, shoot, let's be honest: the male species aged 12 through 23 are a very tough bunch for whom to purchase a gift. (And even then, we come bearing those gifts with beating hearts and racing pulses!)

There are several tried and true gift ideas that I've learned to rely upon, again over oh-those-many years. The first and most obvious is, of course, cash! I don't think there's a human left on the planet who wouldn't be excited by receiving cold, hard money, and that holds especially true for young men. The question, however, remains in the denomination. If you're giving a 'gift' to your paper boy, the kid who bags your groceries at the supermarket, any young man who orbits peripherally in your space, the minimum amount of a gift should be at least $10. ($25, I honestly feel, would be the maximum.) Let's face it, it's more of an enormous tip that you're actually giving here.

You don't want to be cheap, but you don't want to overdo it either. And please, please, please: remember to place your 'gift' in a card! Giving the gift of cash without benefit of the 'pocket' of a card is like giving a woman a brand-new, expensive cashmere sweater 'au natural' - no box, no wrapping, no gift receipt form! It is in very bad form not to enclose ANY cash gift to any young man without enclosing it in a card, with a hand-written sentiment: "Happy Holidays!", "Best wishes for a wonderful New Year", etc. - and SIGN the card as well! For those young men who hold a more prominent role in your world, the dollar amount should vary with both sentiment and intimacy.

A fair and proper amount for a nephew, cousin, son in law should start at at least $25 and could range up to the $50 to $100 range, depending upon how truly important they are to you. For a closer male kin - your own son, brother, father in law, dad, hey, let's throw Hubby in here as well - your gift cash amount should start at $50 and work its way up the scale. Your brother would really appreciate $50 to buy a certain set of tools, but your son, God help us, needs all the help that He and yourself can give him, so make it at least $100. If there's been something special your husband has been eyeing up - a plasma television, a new recliner, exercise equipment - then start at $100 and head on upwards! The amount of a cash gift here lies in the actual love that you have for that person, coupled with what they either really NEED or WANT, and how you feel about accommodating those wishes. Again, please remember the CARD! And don't forget to write a loving sentiment in it - "To the best husband in the world! I Love You!", "Jack, have a wonderful holiday season", "Just a little something special for you, Jim"...whatever the sentiment, take the time to think it through and write it out carefully in your card. While your cash will be dearly appreciated, so will the thoughts that you convey in writing when presenting your gift.

While cash is always welcomed and accepted, many of us prefer to give a check instead of the actual cold, hard green. There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving a young man (or an older one, like your husband or brother) a check in the place of cash. (There could be mitigating circumstances, I guess, if someone doesn't have a checking account, like a 13 or 14 year old, but then their parent(s) could cash the check for them. On second thought, if you're giving a very young teen boy a check made out to him but which would have to be cashed by his folks...give him cash instead!) Most guys in the 16 to 23 year old age bracket do have their own checking/savings accounts, and presenting them with a check (again, with the card, please!) may be a safer way to present your gift. There's no tracking what happens to the cash, if, God forbid, it's misplaced or lost, but you can always write out another check if the original has gone its separate way...

We know that teens and young guys like - no, wait, make that love! - cash and/or checks. A lot of us might feel uncomfortable giving that as a gift, feeling that it's too impersonal. (Well, it may not be a hand-knit cap, but cash or checks almost always rank higher on the appreciation scale than that damned hat.) There are lots of other options that you can give to a guy that do show that you spent not only money but invested personal time in its selection. One of the best gifts to give a young man is the perenially popular gift card. The choices for gift cards are actually more plentiful than one might think for the male species!

Looking to give the gift of clothing? Teens and young men seem to like Abercrombie & Fitch and American Eagle. For the more studious types, certificates to Barnes & Noble and Borders are a great idea; not only can they purchase books, magazines, board games, collectibles, and magazines, both of these companies have an awesome collection of CD's and DVD's. Speaking of which, gift cards to Best Buys and other large electronics retailers gives the chance to pick out CD's, DVD's, Playstation, and electronic items - televisions, radios, DVD players - as well. If you know that the young man likes to eat well (or eat at all, for that matter!), consider giving a gift certificate to a certain restaurant, either an individual restaurant or a chain/franchise.

Keep in mind that he most likely won't be dining alone, so make certain that the amount of the gift card will cover at least two meals plus the tip and beverages. Other gift certifcate options can include his favorite shoe store (dress or athletic shoes), a Brooks Brothers or Joseph A. Bank type of retailer, especially if he needs a new suit, shirt or ties for work or job interviews, Kitchen Kapers for the aspiring or accomplished chef, or a sports collectible/memorabilia store if he's a sports fanatic. (There's a whole wide world of gift certificate options for the sports fans, folks: consider a certificate for tickets to a sports event, season tickets for his favorite local sport (make sure they're decent seats, and make sure you buy a pair of tickets!, or subscriptions to ESPN The Magazine or Sports Illustrated. Use your imagination - but be sure you know which teams he really follows with a passion before you pay.) Another option for gift certifcates is a 'general' mall certificate, which usually can be used at any store within a certain mall or franchise of malls. Be sure to check first, however, to see which stores are excluded from gift certificates - these may be just the very stores in which he has an interest. By and large, though, general mall gift certificates can open up a whole world of possibilities for him.

Another way to go is to go with the flow of popular culture, my dears. Poker is one of the most popular sports/games for both teens and young men these days; it's become a very social way for guys to spend time together. Put together a poker package - a book for the novice/advanced player, chips, whatever he would need to start learning to play, put together some games, or improve his current game. If he prefers something more strenuous than dealing cards - tennis, soccer, track, golf, lacrosse, skiing, snowboarding, cycling - try to find something that he would love to have to get his game on: a new racquet, lax stick, gloves, a putter or driver, new cleats, jerseys, etc. (but make sure that if you buy personal equipment, you either know his exact size or the item can be returned or exchanged for something that does fit). GameBoy and Playstation are still very popular with boys; see if you can find out what new equipment he'd like for his existing set, what new games are on the market, what new upgrades are available...peruse video gamers' stores to see what the newest and latest innovations are.

Just about every family has a teen or young man on their holiday gift list. It's easy to select gift for some of them: by their very nature, they may be easygoing, laid-back kids who will appreciate just about anything that they get. Then there are the others: the kids going through growing pains, going through stages, trying to 'find themselves' (which many of us still continue to do), or trapped in a rebellious, really difficult time in their lives. While it's an awful lot easier sometimes to love those laidback souls, it's just as important - quite frankly, more important - to put your time, thought and your heart into finding what would make a great gift for the kid who's not quite so easy to love or live with. Remember - match the type, the kind of your gift to the one receiving it. Extra thought, extra giving of yourself won't go unrewarded.