The Art of Mooning

Let me see your best moon! What? A moon you say? Yes, a moon! I am sure you have heard of it, the fine art of baring one's buttocks by the dropping of the pants. Mooning is done for a variety of reasons, some find it simply funny, some do it to shock value, some do it because they are just freaks and like to expose themselves, others to be rude or make a statement. No matter the reason behind it, you can be sure your act of mooning will not soon be forgotten!

Mooning wasn't developed yesterday. It has been around for many a moons! Mooning has a long history still in the making to the point of the notoriety it has now. It's not limited to just the good ol' USA; Australia and Europe also are accustom to the art. The difference there is, you may hear it referred to as "flashing a brown-eye" or "chucking a brown-eye".

Mooning goes as far back as 1346 when during the Battle of Crecy, several hundred soldiers exposed their backsides to the English archers. Mooning has been used to make political statements of sorts, such as in the Moon against the Monarchy in 2000 at the Buckingham palace. Mooning has been used for pure entertainment value, such as in the Annual Mooning of Amtrak in California (which, by the way has started a nation wide epidemic of train moonings) and like when Ozzy Osborne decided to flash his posterior at the 2005 UK Music Hall of Fame after he and his group Black Sabbath played.

Sporting events are not exempt from the baring of the grand ol' buttocks either! Randy Moss of the Minnesota Vikings at a Packers game did the famous moon after he scored a touchdown back in 2005. That put him in the record Hall of Mooning Fame for a mere $10,000.00 fine that the NFL imposed on him.

Nevertheless, know this, these moons were not bared thoughtlessly. They were well thought out, planned, and practiced. You really don't think that Randy Moss dropped his pants for the first time in his life at that Packers Game do you? Perfection like that just doesn't happen without practice! Although maybe not the best way to make a point, or way to get a laugh, you have to admit, these moons made a lasting impression

Since the beginning of mooning, these acts have been perfected tremendously and now have a variety of moon styles! There is the cracked moon, the half moon, the full moon, and then there is the full 'anal'ytical moon. (I don't suggest practicing the later of the moons.)

Now you too can make a lasting impression and stand out in a crowd by just following a few simple steps and practice! First, you must decide how much of an impact or impression you want to leave on your targeted audiences mind. (How much of the posterior you want to bare!) Once you decide which moon you feel is the appropriate moon for the occasion, just follow these few simple steps:

STEP 1. Dress for the occasion! Men, leave the boxers and draws at home, women, NO panties! No belts! Time is of an essence here folks! Timing is everything! The extra seconds it can take to unbuckle the belt can mean the loss of targeted audience and the baring would be done in vain.

STEP 2. Clean that posterior! PLEASE! You want to make a lasting impression, not one that sends another to revulsion!

STEP 3. Make sure your intended audience isn't one that will end your butt up in jail! (Unless of course that is your intent!)

STEP 4. Set the stage! Make sure targeted audience has all eyes on you when you prepare to drop the drawers! There is nothing worse than a wasted moon!

STEP 5. Drop the pants! Male sure you have yourself set in form for the particular moon effect you are trying to achieve.

• Crack moon: Posterior slightly jutted out, slight bend at waist, legs partly spread apart and firmly placed on ground for balance, slight cock to one side or the other for a bit of attitude, and then drop pants exposing just a teaser of your posterior crack line
• Half moon: Posterior slightly jutted out, slightly more bent at waist then the crack moon, legs partly spread apart and firmly placed on ground for balance, knees bent and then drop your pants exposing half the posterior crack and exposing the fleshy muscle of the grand posterior.
• Full moon: Bent ¾ at waist, knees bent for stability and spread, feet planted firmly on ground, drop the pants and expose the full fleshy posterior muscle with full crack view.
• Full 'anal'ytical moon: Bent all the way down at waist, legs spread and knees bent, feet firmly planted on ground for stability, drop the drawers, firmly grasp with each hand each side of the posterior fleshy muscle and spread them cheeks so far apart that you would make a protocologist proud!

If you follow these simple steps, you too can leave a lasting burning impression in someone's life and make history!

*Disclaimer* Writer will not accept any responsibility for any incidents of mooning that results in any negative legal repercussions. Writer will though take positive credit for all successful moons.