The Art and Steps of Writing a Meaningful Letter to Mom on Mother's Day

When Mother's Day celebrated its 100^th anniversary last year, there was a renewed interest in the holiday's creator, Anna Jarvis, who started it as a tribute to her own hard-working mother. After the holiday became more of a commercialized enterprise during her lifetime, Jarvis lamented even starting the special day for moms in the first place by displaying as much physical protest as members of a Tax Tea Party. By that time, Hallmark cards were a branded part of American pop culture that wasn't about to be reversed, nor were the other expected procedures of buying flowers or a box of candy. While these all helped our economy chug along, somehow America's mothers capitulated to it and formed a whole generation of mothers who had their heartstrings pulled by the words of highly-paid greeting card writers.

During the height of those protests by Jarvis (something she was arrested for once), there was a push by her to get people into writing personal letters to their mothers on Mother's Day to reflect their love and appreciation. Jarvis would frequently write angry letters to newspapers reflecting her disgust toward the American populace for being too lazy to put together a few meaningful sentences to their mothers. She demanded this of everybody-- even for those who didn't get along well with their parents.

Unfortunately, Jarvis's frustration didn't come true before her death in 1948. Over 60 years after her passing, most of us still go out at the 11^th hour before Mother's Day and buy a Hallmark card that may or may not contain a verse that conveys how we really feel about mom and everything she's done for us in raising us to be assumedly normal individuals. If you're anything like me, those Hallmark cards seem increasingly less satisfying in conveying how we truly feel, despite our moms growing up with the expected gushing toward receiving one of them.

It's not hard to agree that Jarvis was right on the money in saying that writing our own letters to mom are what we should be doing. Now that we're living in a time where deeper reflection is likely happening to many as life gets more challenging and filled with less joy than in prior decades we grew up in, it's hard to imagine many Americans not feeling more poetic about their mothers and entire family in general. Assuming you're one of those who had one of those epiphanies recently (or perhaps always had that sensibility since birth), then let me guide you through a few steps on how to convey the appreciation of mom in a letter. The art of doing one for Mother's Day isn't really all that difficult when you already have a sense of emotion in reserve.

Step One: Writing poetically comes from emotion...

Take it from your humble writer that poetics in writing don't necessarily have to be put on paper effectively only after taking a literary writing class. When you want to convey strong emotions in words, it'll automatically flow once you get the first few words down on the page. Even if that has to start with the obligatory "Dear Mom...", so be it. If you have trouble conjuring that emotion, try some meditation of the regressive sort. That means taking time out to think back to your most favorite moments with your mother as a kid or beyond and reminding yourself of what's been long forgotten due to other priorities in your life.

I'll assume that those events with your mom were all happy. Even those who never got along well with their moms will be able to recall at least a few happy moments that can put you on the right writing track. I assure you that a pleasant memory will incite a flow of words. And that doesn't necessarily mean affected prose.

Step Two: The letter doesn't have to be Shakespeare or ostentatious...

When waxing poetic in writing, the simplest words can have the most powerful meaning. Don't worry if you don't have a wide vocabulary, because simple adjectives that are written in a heartfelt way will show your mother that you care. While perhaps it wouldn't be glaring to your mom if you're not a perfect speller, try using a dictionary or thesaurus while constructing your short letter if you get stuck on words or aren't sure how to spell one. Having the presentation at least grammatically sound will mean a lot more in the letter's initial appearance.

Don't worry either if the letter is written on expensive stationary. Doing so might appear that you're placing too much emphasis on how it looks rather than substance. Going that route just takes it back to the greeting card aspect of presenting something pretty instead of a glimpse into your soul.

Trust me when I say that a simple sheet of paper with a meaningful assortment of words that encapsulates your entire life with your mother will create more emotion and make your mom's day than any bouquet of flowers or Hallmark card would. We're automatically wired to be drawn in to quieter or simpler things when we're constantly deluged with the loud and complex on a daily basis. Your mom will understand this to the core.

Step Three: Presenting your letter will be up to how you share emotion...

As an extension of Step Two, just a simple envelope containing your letter will suffice to bring on that more simplistic approach that'll draw your mom's attention. But it's how you present it that will be up to your personal preference, based squarely on how well you handle emotions with the matriarch of the family. This deep psychological response will obviously vary widely by the person. Some have always found it simpler to share emotion with mom and not dad. Or, conversely, some have found it easier to share emotion with dad and not mom. It might be easy to pin that down to a male emoting better with dad and a female emoting better with mom. That's not necessarily the case. As we know, you'll also find plenty of people who could never emote with either member of the family.

If you're one of those who can handle strong emotion between you and mom, then it's highly recommended that you sit nearby while she opens your letter. Let it be noted, though, that if you're living far away, the emotion of your mom seeing it without you there might just be as powerful as any familial emotion ever mustered.

Despite the lack of evidence of you seeing it, having that happen in the mind of your mother will have fulfilled the heartfelt plea of the frustrated Anna Jarvis...