The Art of the Summer Backyard Barbecue Feast

This anecdote-filled "lesson" is directed to all those who love the idea of the outdoor summer feast, are entranced by the aroma of a cavalcade of meats and strategically blended fusion of vegetables wafting from the grill, and own a barbecue but dread the idea of getting anywhere near it. For those who are specialists, you might recognize the finer points of grill-mastering here, understanding that barbecues and barbecuing require a skill, not simply a skillet.

- First, food preparation is key to the process.

For instance, at a recent barbecue for 60 people at my home...don't ask how I ended up cooking for that many people on one medium-sized grill...I created 40 hamburger patties and 20 beef-chicken-vegetable kabobs the day before. I then separated into multiple plates the various other foods ranging from chicken to hot dogs. Don't get caught with too few plates to handle the barbecued items.

- Measure how long it will take for each food component to cook thoroughly.

Since I had no idea how long kabobs take to cook, I arranged them along the outside of the grill for a while away from the high flame. Knowing from other grilling experiences when the first impolite question, "What's that?" arises at the sight of an unsightly grilled kabob, I kept a keen eye on their progress. Several minutes later, I lined up 20 chicken wingettes inside the kabobs but still away from the high flame.

If you're hell bent on having barbecued chicken, please grill nothing larger than a wingette or a small leg. This advice emanates from my fire-branded memory of waiting endlessly for larger pieces of chicken to cook through. In one particular case, guests had already gone home when the process was finally completed. Helpfully, they called later on to see if the chicken was ready.

A half -hour into this process, drop the flame from medium to low, move the kabobs and wingettes to the middle of the grill, and then place the hot dogs, hamburgers, and ears of corn on the outside. The outside-in process remains in sequence for the remainder of the cooking schedule.

- Be generous with the dressing.

A light oil, honey mustard, white wine, and white vinegar blend can be brushed on minutes before the hopefully distinguishable kabobs are ready to eat. If you are having steak, a simple glaze of Worcestershire sauce is plenty. A simple smattering of honey mustard or orange sauce is recommended for the chicken, but again, only moments before lifting from the grill.

- Gauge the wind before beginning.

Anyone who has ever barbecued knows that the rising smoke billowing from the cooking food can cause extraordinary eye discomfort. Grilling from the south side of a north-blowing barbecue cloud is essential.

- Do not listen to bystanders or onlookers.

A common grill-side comment sounds like this..."Shouldn't you be turning that?" or "That looks done," or "I like mine medium rare." A common retort might be, "Get the hell away from the grill," or "You're sleeve is on fire."

So, onward master grillers or novice grillers...the episode is painless (except for the eye burns and annoying intruders). It is, after all, the perfect rite of summer.