The Art of Throwing a Great Dinner Party

Throwing a dinner party is an art. But since you will be inviting people you like, and who like you in return, you already have a foundation of good will on which to build. Your friends will delight in your success as a host or hostess, and better yet, they might be prompted to reciprocate by inviting you to a dinner party at their house.

There are different levels of formality to dinner parties. It might be a casual make-your-own-pizza night, or a formal sit-down dinner in honor of your favorite neighbor's retirement. Within the levels of formality are many more options.

Your less formal dinner parties might be based on a theme. For example, if your best friend and her husband have just welcomed their third child to the family, you could plan an early dinner featuring the comfort foods you loved as a child. You could serve hot dogs and macaroni and cheese and fresh peas, with an array of condiments on the table. Then you could serve cookies and milk (with the option of coffee) for dessert. You might even play a few rounds of "I spy" or charades afterwards.

And there is nothing wrong with throwing a basic dinner party with no particular theme - just a delicious meal of Italian food or chicken with an amazing dessert and good conversation around the table.

If you choose to host a formal dinner party, make a menu that features dishes that you don't eat that often. Maybe a nice filet mignon with a salad made from your own garden vegetables and some homemade bread would make a good meal. Formal doesn't necessarily mean complicated. You still want to talk and laugh with your guests. If setting up a buffet clashes with the type of meal you want to serve, you might enlist in the help of one or two high school students eager to earn a few dollars by serving for you.

Regardless of theme or degree of formality, it is imperative that you plan ahead. You don't want to be stuck mired in food preparation while your guests have been cooling their heels in the living room for 20 minutes.

Another gesture that is bound to be appreciated is to build in some flexibility to the menu. This doesn't have to mean you want your party to be all things to all people. It just means that you'll want to offer an alternative to shellfish for your guests who keep kosher, and you'll want at least one fairly hearty side dish that can stand in for an entrée for the vegetarian on the guest list.

Another easy accommodation is to offer simple fruit and cheese in addition to the dessert you make so that those with diabetes or who are watching their waistlines will not feel left out. And if you serve wine, be sure to also offer two or three soft drinks for guests who don't drink alcohol.

Your potential guests will appreciate RSVPs that are easy to answer. If you include your email address on the cute invitation cards you send out, it will be easier for your friends to reply to the email than filling in a card and mailing it back to you on time. Make sure to include your phone number in your invitations too.

Another tip that nearly goes without saying is that you should not let your dinner party be the first time you attempt to make a certain recipe. This will only add to your stress the day of the party. If your guests arrive while you're still finishing up last minute tasks in the kitchen, invite them in to chat or have a glass of wine. The kitchen is a cozy, intimate place, and allowing them to pitch in, or talking informally while preparations are finishing up only cements the friendship more.

Dinner parties are a great alternative to going out to eat, and can be very informal, very formal, or anything in between. You don't have to attempt to imitate a White House state dinner. Just the basics are what people appreciate anyway: pretty appetizers, a delicious main course, and dessert and coffee to punctuate the evening and wind down. Why not give it a try? Dinner parties are a great way to stay connected to friends in the midst of busy lives.

A great dinner party is an art form in itself. Much of the fun of it is the simple joy of doing something different than having friends over to watch the game or going out for drinks. Your friends will know that you are putting forth your best effort, and they will appreciate your work and skill, even if the plates are mismatched or the casserole needs another ten minutes in the oven. It isn't high tech or novel, but breaking bread with friends is a ritual that has stood the test of time and continues to work even in the 21^st century.