The Art of Weeping with Others

I got an email today from a friend I'd lost contact with. She thought of me, did a Google search, found my website, and from there, contacted me. She did the typical update about her kids, husband, etc. Good, nice, warm, fuzzy things. Wonderful. Then she also told me about her mom who lost her battle with breast cancer three years ago. I knew her mom, a wonderful lady, so when I read the news and thought of what it must have been like for my friend to walk through such a time, I wept.

Last week, I shared some very disappointing news with a friend via email. I so wanted, expected, and yes, even needed to hear and feel her support, but no response came to my email. Sure, maybe she was just busy, but I have a feeling it was more a thing of not knowing how to respond to my disappointment and humiliation. So not knowing how to respond, she kept silent.

Some may say that silence is golden, but in this case, silence felt like a lead ball crushing my chest, causing me to feel alone and empty. In the midst of my devastation, I wept. . . alone. How much better it would have been if I could have wept in the warmth of a friend's embrace.

There may be times we choose not to reach out to someone who is hurting because we really don't care, but often our failure to express concern is a result of not knowing how to act. Perhaps we're afraid we'll say or do the wrong thing; that is always a possibility. But even in the midst of our bumbling words and awkward touch, if our hearts are in the right place and we truly care about our friends, they'll understand our clumsiness, and they'll feel the warmth of our hearts as we haltingly reach out to them.

It's not necessary to do it perfectly. Just do it. Reach out with a hug, a touch, a card, or a prayer. The simple words, "I'm so sorry" are enough to let your friends know they are not weeping alone, but you are right there with them, catching their tears.

Is there someone you need to weep with today?