The Awakening: P.7

The class room had a setting so familiar to Billy that couldn't tell the differences in it. Well, there were the first signs of Easter. A bunch of bunnies, pink, red, white had been hung up on the wall by Mrs. Daniels, his teacher. It wasn't that impressive to a room full of sixth graders. They were paper-drawn renderings of rabbits that the fourth graders had drawn out a few days back. It had their names on some of them. Mrs. Daniels, who sat in front of a wooden desk most of the time that Billy had known her was standing. She wore a plain old robe, gray and hanging loosely from her shoulders. She kept asking if people knew how to spell awkward. It was a strange thing to ask students. Six of who said they knew but got it wrong.

"Well," Mrs. Daniels was saying flipping her dark red hair to one side, "If you don't know how to spell it, do you know what it means at least?"

Billy looked up at the bunnies, then at the teacher. Then, he looked out the window, where a large open field lay before him. It was a football-stadium-sized grassy area, where some of the local teams played soccer. Now, there was an array of girls in blue and white uniforms playing soccer. A ball almost came through the window but it bounced back. Cecilia Emonds was explaining what it meant. She was at least as tall as Billy but skinny and she had on a red and white dress with black heelless shoes. There was even a goody-too-shoes red bow on her hair. She had it combed down and neatly cut at the shoulders. "Awkward, A-W-K-W-A-R-D, by the way," she said, pointing at those that had gotten it wrong, "Means to infringe upon normal society in a strange way."

"No," Mrs. Daniels said, "It doesn't mean that, although your understanding of it is quite awkward."

"But--?"

Mrs. Daniel shook her head at Cecilia. "Have a seat, please. Billy?"

Billy was still looking out the window. He concentrated a little too hard on what Meryl was doing at the moment. For some reason, this thought roamed around in his head like an air balloon he couldn't pop. Was that ridiculous? He hadn't cared before. Lips, was his thought. Soft lips. He realized he was smiling uncharacteristically and then began to frown as was his usual.

"I-" Billy said, "Well, it's a matter of perspective really."

"Ha," Mrs. Daniel said, "That's an almost perfect answer, Billy. Where did you learn to think like that?"

What the hell, it had worked. This "matter of perspective answer" was his escape. He didn't even know what the question had been. He hoped they were still talking about the word awkward. "I work at a library now," Billy said, smiling. The truth will set you free, some commercials and bad movies said.

"Yes," Mrs. Daniel said, "But librarians think about orderliness, not awkward situations."

Billy almost broke out into a laugh. Thinking about awkward situations, it seemed, is all his boss, whose name was Francine, did.

"I think it has to do with the perspective of people because no one sees a situation like anyone else," Simon, who was seated in the front of the class, said. He looked back at Billy, who sat in the corner chair in the back, and smiled.

"Great answer, Simon," Mrs. Daniel said, "We're all starting to think like college students now."

Cecilia raised her hand, "Isn't it social studies hour? Why are we talking about a word?"

"Good question, missy. And we are studying this word because, Cecilia, our society doesn't how to deal with awkward situations. Our leaders always think rationally in un-rational situations. Maybe, there is something that our future leaders--that's you people-- can do about it."

The class laughed at certain points.

"I thought we were going to learn history like the Mexican-America war, where America was unfairly set onto a war with its southern neighbors."

"Hmm," Mrs. Daniels said, "Now that's an interesting perspective. I might even say a strange one. Who started the war isn't really of importance, Cecilia. It's important that we, as the superior power, chose to act like a tyrant. Instead of ending an obviously unfair war, as you say, before it costs both sides a lot of lives, we decided to take from Mexico, a large amount of their land for our own reasons. But, no, there wasn't a real decided winner in the war or an importance to who caused it. All that matters now, it seems, is that we created an undesirable animosity between one country and the other and we, for certain, didn't act like people. When you steal a candy from your friend, do you feel bad?"

Most of the class nodded.

"And what do you do?"

"Well," another student answered, "When I feel that way because I've done something wrong, I usually buy my friend a better piece of candy or I give it back to them."

"Hmm," Mrs. Daniels said, "That sounds rational to you, doesn't it? But you tell that to the president and he would say that it was the most awkward idea he'd ever heard of."

Most of the class laughed. Cecilia blushed. "I don't think it was unfair for them. They were trespassing anyway."

"Oh?" Mrs. Daniels asked, "Correct. Please name off the first five streets on the way to your house, Cecilia."

She almost hesitated to do so, as though she was barely noticing there was no point to her argument. "Santa Cruz, Gregoria, San Felipe, Rio Ondo, Canales."

"Ah, its true, isn't it, your argument? But, no, we shouldn't see people as trespassing, just because they find themselves feeling strange after an unfair war, wouldn't you agree Billy?"

Billy felt like this was all about him. He had a situation where Simon and Meryl were two sides at war, didn't he? He sensed the tension between the two when he'd gone into the ice-cream shop in the morning, although Meryl had done nothing but smile. Still, what was fair? Should he be like the united states and just take what he wanted, Meryl, soft lips, and leave the other side to fend for themselves? Would Simon even be protected from other bullies? And what if he was taking Meryl, she didn't belong to Simon but Billy's loyalty, well, that was something that was torn between the two. How would he see Simon, if he found him on the street, after having cut ties with him because of Meryl? "It's," Billy said, sighing, "Unfair to your friends to leave them when they need you most."

"Oh?" Mrs. Daniels said, "Billy, you're getting so good at this. And you see the U.S. and Mexico as friends?"

"Best of friends," Billy said, "But if I wanted something and it would leave Mexico alone for a while, then I would probably take it and come back to Mexico when I could. People need space for themselves."

"Selfish," Mrs. Daniels said, "It means to be all about the self, me, me, me. But that doesn't seem to be you, Billy. I know you from before and it has to do with something simple like pencils. Listen to this story, class. It bears meaning to what we've been talking about all along. It was in fourth grade and one student had spilled a packet of pencils all cross the floor. It was after class and most students were on their way out. Now, Billy, who some said would steal the lunches of the young for sport and throw rubber bands at peoples necks, un-substantiated facts by the way, or rumors for those of you who don't know what that meant, looked back at that person and started helping them put away their pencils, while the rest of the class filed out and laughed. Do you think, Billy, that you would leave Mexico, truly, even if there was something you wanted more?"

"Not if they needed my help," Billy said. Billy knew that he couldn't leave Simon alone to fend for himself, not at a time like this when every bully in the school was trying to outdo the other. How had it become so tension-filled? Other students had piled up in a line for his protection during recess and Billy had had to turn them down. There was just too much to do. He couldn't deal with everyone else's problems. How to cure them of their need for a protector? Couldn't they protect themselves? Well, he would have to talk to these so-called bullies. He was one, after all, and a top-tier one at that, because no other bullies messed with him.

As he was thinking this, he looked out the window again, where the girls were playing. He thought he saw a glimpse of one of them, kick the ball really hard not seconds past. Then, he turned to look at Mrs. Daniels, who was now openly arguing with Cecilia about who had better equipment in the war. It wasn't even about the right war, anymore. Billy thought he distinctly heard Cecilia comment ignorantly that the Mexicans had a big advantage on their camels. Then, he looked back out the window and a soccer ball was coming, round and white with a blue star in the center. It wasn't supposed to go through the window or, at least, if it had gone through, it was supposed to break the window because of it. For a second, like the swirling void at the library, a small circular opening had appeared in front of the window, the ball came through, smashed a kid's desk, and spilled some papers over the floor. The void vanished right after.

"Well," Billy said, trying to look unconcerned, "That was awkward."

The class laughed.