The Bachelor Finale: Jake Proposes to Vienna, but Why Do Most Reality TV Relationships Fail?

In this season's final episode of ABC's The Bachelor, Jake Pavelka made his choice and proposed to Vienna Girardi. But why is it most reality show couples don't survive the relationship? The obvious answer is that the fairytale settings in shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette have no real world foundation. So when the fantasy honeymoon ends and real life shows up, the relationship more often than not just doesn't make it.

In the real world there are a myriad of questions that go into getting to know a person and eventually deciding if this is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. As problems, joy, pain and success come in and out of your lives, you see different sides of a person and you get to watch how they respond to various situations. These are all critical factors in choosing the person you may one day marry.

The majority of the questions most people consider in the process of a relationship can't truly be answered in a television fantasy setting. Such as...

How do they interact with their family members on a regular basis? What are their closest friends like and how do they interact with them? Do they act differently when you're alone than when family or friends are around? What do your close family and friends think of the person after getting to know them over time?

Do they have a strong work ethic and perform their job with integrity? How do they handle stress from work? Do they take out stress on other people? How do they handle their money? Do they pay bills on time? Do they have a lot of debt?

Do they flirt or act inappropriately toward others of the opposite sex or are they completely trustworthy? If you want to have children one day, how do they interact with kids? How do the two of you communicate when your relationship hits a rough patch or life becomes difficult?

Are they generous to others? Do they give of themselves to help those around them? Do they more often display selfishness or consideration? How do they respond when you're frustrated or in a bad mood? Do they truly challenge you to be a better person? Do they forgive?

In a normal relationship these are all things that you learn over time in the process of getting to know a person in the real world and deciding if this is the person you want to spend your life with. Maybe this is a large part of why far more reality show couples have ended their relationships than those who have been successful and stayed together.

The majority of viewers understand that shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are mostly entertainment and very little "real life". Still, some truly believe this is a real love story playing out before the public.

But how is it accepted and considered ok for a man to sleep with multiple women in the same time period when he is about to propose to one of them? (And vice versa with The Bachelorette) I know its all part of the show but it is very hard for me to understand how any woman would be ok with the fact that the man she is supposedly in love with was sleeping with several other women right up until the day he proposed to her.

It's also hard to understand how the "winning" woman would feel alright hearing her fiancé say that he was in love with more than one woman and letting the "runner-up" go home was the worst day of his life. I can't see how that would help your confidence as his fiancé.

Tenley, from this season's The Bachelor, pointed out this very question during the After The Final Rose special. She asked Jake, "Do you feel like it is unfair to Vienna that you were so attached to me, yet you were about to [propose] to her?" Jake didn't really have much of a response to that question except to say, "I never knew I could be in love with more than one person." Tenley hit the nail right on the head when she said, "I am relieved that I'm not her if you were feeling that much passion about both of us", a statement that garnered a few applause from the studio audience.

Incidentally, Jake claims he vacillated between Tenley and Vienna right up until just a few hours before he proposed. He even chose an engagement ring for both ladies! But then moments before he presented a ring to Vienna he said he was "100% certain" about his choice. Whether he truly went back and forth to that extreme degree or just said it to make Tenley feel better (or maybe to add more drama), hearing that would certainly affect my confidence in the relationship if I was his final choice.

Of course, the world will have to wait and see if Jake and Vienna survive the long haul or join the ranks of other failed reality TV relationships.