The Bachelor: An Officer and a Boring Man

Another season of "The Bachelor" has come and gone...yawn.

What was once one of my - and, judging from its initially stellar ratings, the nation's - favorite shows has become duller than a Kenny G album, and the latest season did nothing to improve the situation.

It started off promising. In an attempt to shake things up after the less-than-thrilling season featuring "Prince" Lorenzo, ABC opted for a young-ish, attractive military man this time instead of the usual young-ish, attractive (with the exception of Bachelor Bob) business man. Foolishly, I thought it might make a difference.

Boy, was I wrong.

Andy turned out to be the least intriguing bachelor - and possibly man - on Earth. Expressionless throughout the show, I think he laughed a total of 0.2 times and smiled even less.

His lame attempts to inject enthusiasm into events like bull riding at a western bar and lounging in a hot tub with the ladies - "This is every man's DREAM" or "That's SEXXY" - just sounded strained and fake.

You might say, "So what?" Other "Bachelors" have certainly been boring (*cough* Andrew Firestone *cough*) and the show still held interest. But Andy wasn't just boring. He was also - well - a major dork.

From the way he ran (who holds their arms out like wings when they go for a jog?) to his uncanny ability to insert "frickin'" into phrases at inappropriate times (I doubt the show's contestants had been fantasizing about romantic evenings capped off with Andy declaring 'I frickin' love you'), Andy was by far the doofiest "Bachelor" yet. His hi-jinxs left viewers with little doubt as to how a seemingly normal, upstanding military man (and doctor, no less) could still be single.

And while making fun of nerdy Andy - as well as the usual catty, desperate and weepy contestants - kept the show mildly entertaining, I had no reason to tune in regularly or feel any sort of emotion when it came down to the final rose ceremony.

Here's hoping that ABC picks a more dynamic "Bachelor" next season - for my sake as well as the show's.