The Bachelorette 2010 - 6 Predictions for Ali Fedotowsky and the Man-Pack

The Bachelorette 2010, which airs Monday evenings on ABC, chronicles petite blonde Ali Fedotowsky's uber-public quest for lifelong love. Through 4 weeks of man-slinging competition, we've seen a long-distance hobble on crutches, an inking, plenty of horrific singing, and enough smoochie-smoochie to pass around a mammoth collection of cold viruses. So what's going to happen next on The Bachelorette 2010? I dunno, since I prefer to remain TV-chaste and unspoiled (sorry Steve), but here's a look at what might happen, just based on how things have unfolded thus far.

The Bachelorette 2010 Prediction #1 - Krazy Kasey will stick around longer than we might assume. I know that if some dude I'd just met a month ago got a tattoo in honor of me, my stalk-o-meter would go nuts. Kasey's heart-in-armor tattoo gives the term 'obsession' all new meaning. Ali should be scared to death when she sees Kasey's wrist art, but hey, she let him stick around despite his cheesy lines and awful singing, so why boot him over a little ink? Because it would be RATIONAL, that's why. But somehow, I can't decide if Ali will be impressed or distressed, so for the sake of argument, I'll go with the former. For now. Updated: Well, Kasey's tat didn't have much staying power, as it turned out, as Ali chose to dismiss him during week 5. But it's okay, Cheesemaster: Blondie got rid of you for your "own good".

The Bachelorette 2010 Prediction #2 - Justin will turn out to be a giant Rated R wrestler douchebag. I realize that a lot of viewers think he's sweet, sincere, blah blah blah, but this guy reeks of something seriously stinky. We already know he's a hypocrite; he did, after all, lie to the guys about his whereabouts during week three, and then turn around a slam Kasey for withholding the truth about his tat during week four. But methinks that Justin's seedy wrestler underbelly is much seedier than a pot calling a kettle black. The Bachelorette season 6 villain, perhaps?

The Bachelorette 2010 Prediction #3 - Frank will crack. This one pains me because for the most part, I like Frank and his nerdy glasses. On top of that, I think he and Ali have good chemistry. Their moment under umbrellas in the rain during week 4 was actually kinda romantic - for real! But he seems too nice to make it much further, and he's far too bothered by seeing Ali with the other guys. Unless he can master the art of emotional separation, he's going to lose it. Soon. I just hope it won't get ugly.

The Bachelorette 2010 Prediction #4 - Chris N. will be unveiled. Finally. So who exactly IS Chris N? The only thing I'm pretty confident about when it comes to this guy is that he's not an attention whore. Otherwise, I feel like I hardly know him. Ali's kept him around this long so clearly she must see some redeeming qualities in the 29-year old Floridian, but the lack of exposure for this dude is getting old. It's high time to unmask the mystery man. Updated: Oh, Chris, we hardly knew ye. Well, we found out that you seem to be a dull stuffed shirt during week 5. And then Ali said buh-bye before we could figure out anything else. Oh well.

The Bachelorette 2010 Prediction #5 - A scandal will pop up very, very soon. It wouldn't be a season of a popular reality show without the inclusion of a good, hearty scandal, now would it? The who? I'm gonna say Justin, just because I think he's a smarmy attention whore. But even if I'm wrong and it's not the J-man, I'm guessing that at least one of The Pack has a girlfriend waiting back at home.

The Bachelorette 2010 Prediction #6 - Roberto and Chris L will take the top two spots. Maybe this is purely wishful thinking, but as of week 4, I'd love to see these two guys make the finals, but would hate to see either of them walk away the loser. Both seem to have a good connections with Ali and both appear to be good guys. Third place? I'll go with Kirk. Good, but not quite up to Roberto/Chris snuff.

So there you have 'em: My unspoiled, purely-for-fun predictions for the rest of The Bachelorette 2010. Tune in to see how it all plays out, or feel free to check out my detailed and often snark-infused recaps and commentary.

Sources

The Bachelorette 2010 week 3 and week 4, ABC, June 7 and June 14