The Basics of Bullying

Counseling can greatly help both the bully and the victim. For the bully himself/herself, one of the most important things would be to identify the causes of the bullying and to find strategies that will help the bully to stop this behavior. For the victim, the wounds can be healed partially by understanding the reasons and by understanding that the victim is not as fault. Additionally, the victim can be taught a variety of coping strategies to ensure that this kind of behavior does not happen again.

How counseling can help bullies are to work on the underlying causes of bullying. For example, if the cause is to gain attention or to imitate others, the counselor can work with the client on how to gain more positive attention or getting to the root cause of why the bully has chosen this person to imitate. If the cause is to feel accepted by peers or to gain power over another person, the therapist can help the bully come up with other ways to gain peer acceptance or to explore the reasons why the bully needs to feel that sense of power. These ways to cope could be as simple as coming up with more positive self-talk in order to combat feelings of wanting to bully another person. The bully also needs to clearly know the consequences of what will happen if he/she continues in this behavior. Exploration of the underlying causes is really at the root of finding out why the bully bullies. This is the first step to stopping the behavior.

What the victim needs to heal is the ability to talk about his/her wounds. A strategy like journaling might be an idea to help the victim really get their feelings out in writing. Writing can be transformative as we learn new things about ourselves by writing them down. They need safe environments to explore their feelings as well as coping strategies to ensure that the behavior will not continue. However, it is important not to focus all the attention in this area as this could make the victim feel as though he/she was at fault. Additionally, they may need assistance in dealing with the long-term affects of these attacks. In other words, they may develop symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and need help in healing these wounds. These wounds can be healed, but it will take time and effort to get over these hurts.

In conclusion, both bullies and victims of bullies have a need for extensive counseling to overcome their difficulties. For the bully, the counseling would consist of getting at the underlying causes through self-examination and exploration. The counseling would focus on finding coping strategies for the bully to deal with his/her feelings in other ways, without bullying. For the victim, talking about his/her victimization would go a long way in healing. Focusing on the idea of self-worth and overcoming self-blame are pivotal concepts. Making sure the victim is free of post traumatic stress disorder or dealing with this if it is a factor are extremely important. Future coping strategies should be looked at but de-emphasized because the victim should in no way blame himself/herself.

Works Cited

Bullying. Retrieved November 15, 2007 at Web Site: http://www.reflectionscounseling.com/view/?pageID=232141

The Buzz on Bullying. Retrieved November 15, 2007 at Web Site: http://www.schoolcounselor.org/content.asp?contentid=282

Cole. J. Identification of School Bullies by survey methods. Retrieved November 15, 2007 at Web Site: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0KOC/is_4_9/ai_n16131296

Freedman. Judy S. Easing the Teasing: How Parents Can Help Their Children. ERIC Digest. Retrieved November 15, 2007 at Web Site: http://www.ericdigests.org/2000-1/teasing.html

Girls Bullying Girls. National Association of School Psychologists. Retrieved November 15, 2007 at Web Site: http://www.teachersandfamilies.com/open/parent/ra5.cfm

Kalman, I. M.D. Bullying at School. Retrieved November 15, 2007 at Web Site: http://www.bullies2buddies.com/

Ruhl. C. Becoming a School Guidance Counselor. Retrieved November 15, 2007 at Web Site: http://www.education.org/articles/becoming-a-school-counselor.html

School Counselors. Retrieved November 15, 2007 at Web Site: http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/feel_better/people/school_counselors.html

Stop Bullying. Retrieved November 15, 2007 at Web Site: http://www.stopbullyingnow.com/Counseling%20young%20people%20who%20are%20bullied.pdf

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