The Battle Within Yourself

A legion of soldiers of the opposing army, and a single person facing it all alone on the battlefield. All that he has got is his inner army, the dream to win, and the aim to conquer all odds. This opposing army is nothing, but life, and the person is none other than you.

Maybe my thoughts reflect the attitude of a loser or maybe of an incapable person hoping to achieve a lot more than she ever can. But since it's my life, so I am entitled to think that my views actually describe the truth, if not of winners, then surely of would-be winners.

So, I would like to come back to my point. Well, many may say that it isn't life that we have to conquer, but the troubles in life are the ones that need to be taken care of. While I am not so pessimistic as to say that life in itself is a huge trouble, but I do feel that it is a torturous tunnel. Even in times of happiness, there is either the thought of another trouble marring our joys, or a guilt within us that keeps on saying that we are not entitled to be happy.

True happiness appears to be a myth, like true love....a divine illusion. Speaking of love, all that I've experienced till now is attraction. Not merely physical, but an emotional attraction. Maybe an attraction is the first step of love. But like my goals, being committed also seems to be a distant dream. It's all very vague and childish, but it's what I feel. Maybe I am a shallow girl, but my life is just as valuable to me as a mature person's life is to him. And, when I am affected and hurt by certain things, immaterial of the fact that however senseless or foolish they are, I am as sad as an elderly person would be due to his complex problems.
When you are passionate about something, you don't get the opportunity to do it. And, when you are all worn out, you are told to do just exactly the same thing, but by that time, you become your own enemy. You inflict pain on yourself by not giving your best shot.

But when in conflict with your own self, you forget that the real battle is out of you, it's the world that you've got to win, and pulling yourself down is the worst thing that you can do to yourself. It is a sin, don't commit it.