The "Being Single on Valentine's Day" Freak Out

Once we make the mad-dash through Christmas and have survived putting up with family, friends and possibly the five extra pounds we gained, we turn the corner only to have another yearly breakdown; Valentine's Day. Why do so many people get bent out of shape if they're single when February 14th comes up on the calendar? Is it a healthy look at one's self and their take on their relationship status or just a self-deprecating yearly ritual meant to feed into the hype? No matter what the outcome, being single on Valentine's Day shouldn't cause a freak-out, and here are three reasons why.

Why does being single on Valentine's Day bother so many people?

1. Fear of Missing out.

Whether the idea came from a movie or a romantic love song, trying to find someone to "complete" you will only leave you on an endless journey to nowhere. Having this type of mentality in life and in relationships allows your imagination to take over and find causes for your single status; next you'll be asking yourself, "What wrong with me" or "Am I really that bad of a person?" When in reality, it's timing, and nothing can rush that--not even cupid or a box of Valentine's candy that asks, "Will you be mine?" Your fear of missing out on something might drive you to act out of desperation and end up in countless unhappy dates and situations. There are 364 other days in the year that deserve your attention, don't drain all your energy on February 14th.

2. People's expectations.

According to New York City Love Coach, Tara Padua, "When you allow the judgments of others or their expectations to have a major role in your life, you're actually giving up control of it." You're saying to the Universe, "They know best" and your voice and needs take a back seat. Just because your mother or best friend feel you should already be in a relationship, you allow them to turn on the pressure cooker. You must learn to walk away once you hear the pot ready to boil over and let them deal with the mess they created, you on the other hand, have to redirect your energy towards something more meaningful in your life.

3. Hollywood Drama.

It's about time we recognize that Hollywood movies are for entertainment and not a path to reality. Just because Julia Roberts and Ashton Kutcher can find their soul mates in under two hours, doesn't mean you're going to also. Romantic movies were created to entertain, not use as a guide for your own love-journey; instead, oder popcorn, a chocolate bar and some nachos and indulge. If you're using movies as dating devices to mimic and end up with the guy or girl of your dreams, you might also hire the director, a lighting crew and casting agency to select your lead because that's how it's done in the movies; even the movies "based" on real-life events are editorialized for viewing pleasure and a money-making formula. It's time we stop using Hollywood as an excuse to feel guilty about our love lives, in fact, skip the movies altogether--who needs the guilt or the extra calories?