The Benefits of Being Messy

If "getting organized" was one of your New Year's resolutions, you were in good company. Just like "getting in shape", organizing our lives is one of the top resolutions every year. And if you are starting to look around and realize that you are failing on the "getting organized" part, you are in good company there, too. Most resolutions fall by the wayside within six weeks. We all revert to the familiar and comfortable, whether that is junk food or a mess.

I was intrigued when I read a review of a recent book titled "A Perfect Mess" by Eric Abrahamson and David Freedman. The premise of this book seems to be that mess is okay; perfectionism is the enemy; neatness is overrated. I looked around my house and saw the cluttered bookcase; toys piled up willy-nilly; overlapping layers of notes, business cards, and photos on my bulletin board; a motley collection of magnets littering the fridge, and heaved a sigh of relief. Maybe getting organized was a waste of time.

According to Abrahamson and Freedman, creativity often resides in clutter. They call it "finding serendipitous connections between disparate documents". One example in praise of messiness is the discovery of penicillin from moldy, neglected Petri dishes.

I decided to do some research into the worlds of neat freaks versus messies. Here are some things I discovered:

*Perfectionism is the enemy. A lot of times, a blind reliance on a certain filing or organization system masks an internal chaos and insecurity.

*Being too neat wastes time. For some of us organizers, time is as precious a commodity as clean space. Spending time obsessively color coding a filing system, or moving things from one pile to another, or sorting underwear into piles of weekday versus weekend wear just doesn't make sense.

*Messy is not the same as disorganized. If you know where documents are on your desk, what difference does it make if the corners line up at sharp angles? Many times, people with a messy work environment are more efficient because they don't spend time filing, and then finding the same piece of paper several times a day.

*Sometimes, out of sight is out of mind. My daughter and I share this characteristic. Both of us need to "see" all of our things in order to use them. That's why my bulletin board is full of photos, reminders, phone numbers and papers. That's why her crafts never get put away, but take up permanent residence on the end of the dining room table.

*Parents are better off not being too organized. Children need some structure, but trying to impose a rigid order on family life is going to leave you in tears and pulling your hair out. A parent needs to balance on the knife edge of chaos. You never know when a diaper will need changed, a knee will need bandaged, a baby will need an extra nap, sheets will need to be changed, or someone will puke all over their clothes and the clean floor.

* "Be prepared, but be prepared to change" is an important motto to remember, even if I did make it up. Don't be so rigid that you lose creativity.

*Be organized enough. You don't want to waste time getting dressed in the morning sorting through piles of unironed, unmended, unwashed clothing. But you also don't need to spend time hanging clothes by color, size, and season. Unless that happens to be your hobby. If it is, go for it.

*Be like the Marines. I always thought of the Marines as blindly following order. But they have a saying "Plan too far ahead.....plan twice". It's impossible to plan around the next curve. Blend some flexibility into your organizing.

*Your calendar doesn't need to be divided down to fifteen minute increments. Really. Unless you are a doctor or manicurist, you can get by scheduling by the hour, or even just parts of the day. Leave room for surprises.

*Don't sweat it. If your coworkers, spouse, and family aren't complaining about your mess; and if they aren't complaining that you are disinfecting and cleaning too much, let it go. Life is about balance, after all.

After all that expert research, I still would rather clean every day than save a big mess for the weekend. Human beings have a need to impose order on our lives. But sometimes, an obsessive need for order over actually accomplishing anything is a sign of insecurity. When we feel out of control in some area of our lives, imposing control where we can (like scrubbing the shower every day, for instance, or organizing the icons on your desktop in straight lines) makes us feel like we have some autonomy.

And I'm a mom. I'll take autonomy where I can get it.