The Bengali Wedding Guide

A traditional Bengali wedding is an elaborate affair that may last several days. Many rituals are involved with modern couples adapting them to suit their own needs and preferences. Families are of major importance in all aspects of the ceremony. A wedding planner should be versed in the history of Bengali rituals in order to successfully craft the event for the couple and their relatives.

Make preparations for the turmeric ceremony also called the "Gaye Holud". The groom's family should bring the wedding clothes, gifts and adornments including the turmeric paste and henna to the bride's house. They should also prepare two large fishes decorated to depict the bride and groom and bring along sweetmeats for the ceremony.

Gather the bride's young female relatives and her friends to participate in the turmeric ceremony. These young females should be outfitted in matching clothes that are orange in color. A dais should be constructed for the bride to be seated upon. The girls will adorn the bride with elaborate henna designs on her hands and feet. Afterward they will rub turmeric paste over the bride's skin to give it the yellow hue associated with Gaye Holud. Finally, the young ladies will feed the sweetmeats to the bride.

Repeat the preparations for the turmeric ceremony for the groom. The groom's Gaye Holud does not have to occur on the same day as the bride's but it may be planned that way. Often the groom's ceremony is much less elaborate than his bride's and mainly consists of his being anointed with turmeric paste and oils. It is often a very humorous occasion.

Arrange for practical jokes to be played on the groom on the day of the wedding. These typically include having the bride's family and friends bar the groom from wedding venue until he "pays" them. Often young relatives of the bride will "steal" the groom's shoes and not return them until he has given them suitable payment.

Procure a "gazi" to perform the wedding ceremony. The gazi is authorized to legally marry the couple. He will ask the bride and groom in turn for their consent to be married with their parents and other witnesses in attendance.

Rehearse the ceremonies of the father giving away the bride and the walking 7 times around the "fire". A priest will give instructions to the bride and groom to chant mantras from the holy texts for a Hindu ceremony.

Prepare for the wedding feast which will follow the ceremony. The reception hall should be procured and the manner of catering attended to so that the bride and groom may act as hosts to their families and other guests.

Decorate the marriage bed with flowers. This is traditionally done by the groom's family prior to the reception. This ceremony is aptly named the "flower bed ceremony".

The wedding planner should work as a team with the bride and groom to tailor the traditional aspects of a Bengali wedding with their particular preferences.
Be sure to follow the specific rituals of a Bengali wedding depending on whether the families are Hindu or Muslim.