The Best of Bushisms, the Dumbest Things Uttered by George W. Bush

Having heard the reports of then Texas Governor George W. Bush's ineptitude at public speaking, surely "W" couldn't be less skilled in the English language than his father, George H.W. Bush I thought.

After all, the 41st President of the United States, George H.W. "Poppy" Bush had often been described as speaking English as a second language with his public bungling. The "vision thing" was a problem for Daddy Bush. "Notgundoit", "woonbe prudent" and other Daddy Bush catchphrases were made famous by SNL impressionist Dana Carvey from 1988-92.

There was even a book of "Bushisms", a collection of verbal gaffes by George H.W. Bush. As long as the list was, Daddy's Bushisms paled in comparison compared to the son, George W. Bush, who has inspired a whole volume of Bushisms, I believe it's 8 at last count.

Fellow CP Shannon Cotton earlier compiled a list of Bushisms you might enjoy.

Texan Mac Davis wrote a song years ago called Texas In The Rear View Mirror. Now that the latest, (and hopefully last) Bush administration, thankfully, is in the nation's rear view mirror, here is my list of the Top Bushisms. The absolutely most incoherent, head-scratching, what did he say utterances of George W. Bush. There were a lot of decisions to be made among the long list of Bush verbal gaffes, narrowing it down was not easy.

With help from about.com, In chronological order, here is my list of the Top (Or bottom) Bushisms:

Does PETA Know About This?

Jan. 2000 George W. Bush: "If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, the economy will grow".

Having a dog who we believe to be part terrier, I can understand a certain amount of hair-pulling, but what do the little terrier-ists have to do with the economy?

Rarely Is The Question Asked: Was The Village Of Crawford, Texas Missing It's Idiot?

Jan. 11, 2000. In an interview having to do with childhood education, George W. Bush uttered the now immortal words: "rarely is the question asked, IS our children learning?"

The same question should have been asked back in the 50's when "W" was in grade school, apparently being left behind.

Where's The Beef?

Jan. 27, 2000, George W. Bush: "I know how hard it is to put food on your family".

So, that's where the beef is...

Pie In The Sky?

Feb. 15, 2000, George W. Bush: "We ought to make the pie higher".

Is this what's meant by the phrase: his reach exceeds his grasp?

Nothing's Certain But What?

Oct. 18, 2000, George W. Bush: "I'm not sure 80% of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100% will get it if I'm the President".

I know Bush did more than his part in preventing overpopulation in Texas, but this is ridiculous.

The Dickens You Say?

Nov. 2, 2000, Bush: "They (Democrats) want the federal government controlling social security like it's some kind of federal program".

Everyone knows social security is privatized, right? How did that Bush proposal turn out anyway?

Oh, Lord, Please Don't Let Me Be Mis-What?

Nov. 6, 2000, home of Wal-Mart headquarters, Bentonville, AR, Bush: "They misunderestimated me".

Bush, speaking of the Democrats who regarded him as a guy who just might make it up to night manager of a Taco Bell if not for his last name. No "W", they "misunderestimated" the power of having your brother as Governor of the state that decided the election, the Secretary of State of Florida, the person charged with counting the votes being your Florida campaign Co-Chair, and your party having a 5-4 majority on the Supreme Court. And, that funky Florida butterfly ballot.

Blindfold And Cigarette, Anyone?

Dec. 20, 2000: In a lecture to the press about the separation of powers, Bush: "They (Congress) pass the laws and I execute them".

Was Bush's Feudian slip showing here? Former Tampa Bay Buc football coach John McKay once said in response to a question about his offense's execution after a particularly inept performance: "It'd be a good idea, I think".

Late comedian George Carlin once quipped "you know the only good thing about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans". Sorry, Texas, a pretty state, at least all but the western part, I just had to throw that in there.

George W. Nostradamus?

In a strange foretelling of Vice President Dick Cheney's shooting of supporter Harry Whittington while hunting, Jan. 22, 2004, Bush to Sen. Pete Dominici (R) N.M. in giving the novice hunter a lesson: "Just remember, it's the birds that's supposed to suffer, not the hunter".

Dick Cheney will drink to that.

Irony Sharpens Irony?

May 5, 2004, Bush: "Iraqis are sick of foreign people coming into their country".

Is any commentary necessary?

But Does Bush Know Not To Wear Lip Gloss During A Dust Storm?

May 27, 2004, in a joint appearance in Nashville, TN with TN Sen. Bill Frist, Bush speaking of Frist: "He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us, a West Texas girl, just like me.

There is a T shirt and popular saying about West Texas girls knowing not to wear lip gloss in a dust storm in case you're wondering. I can hear "W" asking Laura "does that flight suit make my butt look big?"

Whatever Happened To Bedside Manner?

Sept. 6, 2006, Bush in a campaign rally: "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. OBGYN's aren't able to practice their love with women across this country".

Maybe Bush's predecessor, Bill Clinton, could don a stethoscope and do his part to alleviate the shortage...

Knock On Wood?

In a response to opponent John Kerry in one of the 2004 Presidential debates, Bush: "I own a timber company? That's news to me. Need some wood?"

Believe me, It wasn't easy paring down all of Bush's verbal gaffes, bleeps and blunders down to just thirteen Bushisms. So many Bushisms, so little time.

Now that the George W. Bush Presidency is a thing of the past, there will be no Bush administrations to compile lists of Bushisms for. In the words of an old time Baptist preacher, "I'll be glad when all these "isms" are "was-ims".

Let's remember the words of philosopher George Santayana who said "those who don't remember the past are condemned to repeat it". Or as George W. Bush might say in yet another Bushism: "them that does not dismember the past are commended to defeat it".