The Best Food for Thanksgiving

Hi! So I assume you're new to the country. First of all, welcome to the greatest nation on Earth! We're glad and excited to have you among us. Today I'm going to be your Thanksgiving Day ambassador. I'm going to teach you everything you need to know to properly participate in this great tradition of ours.

Thanksgiving occurs on the 4th Thursday of every November. And personally, it's my all-time favorite holiday. It's a special day because at least 75% of the US population dines on the exact same thing for dinner that night. Mind you there are a lot of oddballs who like to do things a bit more exotic, but you can be assured that most of your neighbors will be eating the same food as you.

"So what all is needed?" you ask. Well, let's start at the beginning and go from there.

The Gobbler

First of all, you have to have a turkey, or what we Americans call a gobbler. It's a tradition to purchase a full turkey (not just pieces), stuff it with 'stuffing,' and then roast it in an oven. I realize however that not everybody likes turkey, or meat for that matter. That's why it's also acceptable to serve chicken, fish, HAM (very popular), or even soy turkey. Regardless of what choices you make, I recommend that you still cook a turkey though. Feel free to add additional meats on the side, but you can't have a proper Thanksgiving without the gobbler!

Side Dishes

Protein is great, but it truthfully plays only a small role. The bulk of your meal is going to come from your side dishes, which represent your carbohydrates, vegetables, and fruits. They're what's going to fill you up so much that you have to undo your pant buttons and belt. With side dishes you have more room to be creative, but the main food items found in the average home are mashed potatoes with gravy, sweet potatoes or yams, corn on the cob or just corn, green beans or green bean casserole, biscuits or cornbread or corn muffins, macaroni and cheese, and a salad of your choosing. I prefer potato salad ;-).

Beverages

When you eat, you have to also drink! So it's important you choose a nice selection of beverages for your family and guests. Beer, wine, and cocktails are a must for any adult gathering. Apple cider, orange juice, and grape juice are great for the kids. And of course don't forget water!

Dessert

No Thanksgiving Day meal is complete without a hearty dessert! After you've stuffed your mouth full of turkey, stuffing, and sides, it's time for dessert. Generally you want to offer at least one sort of pie, though it's more than fine to offer several. Options include apple pie, mincemeat pie, sweet potato pie, pumpkin pie, and PECAN PIE. Pecan is my favorite, but you can choose whatever you prefer.

The Unleashing of the Gut

After everybody has ate, it's time to relax. Personally I call this time the 'unleashing of the gut,' because it's common for men to undo their belts to allow their full stomachs room to breath. It's in fact one of the most important aspects of the meal. Everybody is full and happy and hopefully chattersome. Use this as an opportunity to catch up with your loved ones.

Well, I hope I've given you the tools you need to join in on the fun this year. Just remember to be thankful for everything you have! And hey... have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!