The Best Things to Say to Your Child About Divorce & Seperation

Going through a divorce and separation can put a major strain on the family. The parents are not the only ones who are feeling grief. Children are also feeling the pressure that is brought on by divorce and separation.

When I went through my divorce in 2003, it was a difficult time for both my children and I. But over the years, I have found some thing that I have said to my children to make it a little bit easier.

The first thing to say to your child is that I love you. Just taking the time each day and letting your child know that you love them makes all the difference in the world. When a child hears this, they feel more secure.

Another thing you can say to your child is that it is not their fault; often time children blame themselves for the divorce. It is good to assure them that they are not the cause of the divorce.

The third thing you can say to your child is that you are happy to have them in you life. Sometimes children may be confused about the divorce and may believe or have the fear that you don't want them anymore, especially when they see their mother and father arguing and fighting. It is always good to let your child know that they are a blessing in your life.

The next things you can say to your child to you are still a part of a family. Children who are in the middle of a divorce or separation sometimes feel that there is no more family or togetherness. Parents must give their child a sense of family by saying it and taking action. Tell your child that we are still a family but in a different way. Some examples of taking actions are to spend more quality time with your child and to take the time to hear your child. Give your child a chance to voice their feelings and keep the line of communication open between the two of you.

The last thing you do is to stay positive. Try to avoid saying negative things about the other parent. Even if the other parent has hurt you and have done some bad things, you should always keep in mind that your child still loves the other parent. Avoid bringing your child in the middle of your arguments and resentment towards the other parent.

I have said these things to my children and it help mended the family together. Some things I have learned through trial and error. Remember to stay positive and to keep the lines of communication open with your child. And always tell them that you love them. Divorce and separation can be hard on everyone in the family but taking the extra steps to make things better for the children does make a tremendous difference; I am a living testimony.