The Best Wedding Advice Ever: Don't Get Married

Newly engaged couples get plenty of wedding planning advice, but rarely is a friend or relative candid enough to speak up when a couple could be making the biggest mistake of their lives. Instead, once the engagement ring has been sized, they forever hold their peace. During or after the divorce, they have loads to say about the soon-to-be ex-spouse, how you could have done better, and about how they knew it wouldn't last. Even the 50% divorce rate statistics can be more honest with you than your loved ones, or than you are with yourself.

Luckily, even though it might be embarrassing, you can save yourself thousands of dollars in wedding costs and divorce settlements by evaluating your commitment before you stroll down the aisle. Heed this bit of wedding advice even if you're only admiring that engagement ring in the department store window. Below, you'll find advice about why not to go through with that wedding.

Don't get married because you're tired of being alone. Loneliness is part of life. We entered this world alone, and we'll leave it alone. Weddings and marriages are not the cure for loneliness. Getting married believing that you won't be lonely might cause you to resent your spouse later on. When you mesh two lives under the same roof, you might discover that your spouse has plenty of hobbies to busy himself or herself with that you aren't part of.

Many outside hobbies or responsibilities that don't normally interfere with dating can come into play once a couple marries. If your lover has a one-person hobby, likes to hang out with friends, or works a lot of hours, you'll still feel that same loneliness that you thought getting married would cure. The real cure for loneliness is taking the time to get to know yourself and developing a life for yourself-outside of a relationship or a marriage. If you haven't done that, then my advice is not to even plan a wedding.

Don't get married thinking that you can change/save your lover. Proposing or accepting a proposal because you feel you can change or save the other person is the worst reason to get married. Change must come from the inside. You won't mature your boyfriend or girlfriend just because you married him/her. You won't cure them of their cheating or partying ways by forcing them to settle down.

If your fiancé needs changing or saving, it should be handled by a psychiatrist and that person before you get financially and emotionally involved. Do not let thinking you're in love get you saddled with someone else's issues. It's not your job to change or save anyone.

Don't get married for the baby. If you're pregnant, or you've had a child with this person, do not feel pressured to get married for the child's sake. Getting married for the children is an honorable reason, but if you and your mate are not ready for marriage or you're not suited for each other, you'll wind up hurting the children more with a divorce.

Don't fall for the "We'll learn to love each other" routine. Marriages based on love don't have a high success rate, either. I don't know anyone who wants to learn to love a spouse while knee-deep in dirty diapers. Even the best of marriages suffer while acclimating to a new baby, so consider just living together instead of marrying.

I heard something new from men I've talked to about the baby thing. A few men over 40 have said that they won't marry unless their lover is pregnant. They also said they were actively trying to get their lovers pregnant in order to get married. Please be wary of this trap. Ladies, you are not a breeding pond for men wishing to have an heir. Don't let any man talk you into this or even suggest this to you. You should be good enough to marry-baby or no baby.

Don't get married to poke out his/her wandering eye. Feeling insecure about a partner who won't stop browsing in the singles aisle? Putting a ring on it won't cure that. Incurable flirts might say it will, but you don't you see them rushing out to get an engagement ring. Don't pressure a man to propose because you think his "women friends" will back off. Don't spend thousands of dollars for an engagement ring because you think it will make her only have eyes for you.

It's natural and normal for people to check out others occasionally. After all, humans are beautiful. However, it's not okay to constantly check out every single heavenly body that floats by, or to engage with them while in a relationship. Putting a ring on it sometimes makes the trip to the singles aisle more exciting for cheaters.

If you're afraid that your lover can't be faithful, a wedding ring is not a shackle and marriage is not a prison cell. They will find ways of wandering or cheating, if that's really what they want to do. You should ask yourself why you want someone like that. Why would you want to be with someone who makes you compete for attention-with strangers no less? If you see that your lover has too many friends of the opposite sex, instead of planning a wedding, my advice is to become one less "friend" that your roving lover must make excuses to.

Don't marry for financial gain. Don't get married because you think the other person is your ticket to the lap of luxury. In these uncertain economic times, you might wind up in an even worse situation if you planned to get married and eat ice cream all day while your spouse works. The news is filled with stories of people losing everything in the stock market. With jobs being eliminated left and right, it's better that you plan for your own financial future than bank on someone else's to get you through.

Marrying for money can be a dangerous occupation. You'll want to partner with your spouse, and stay apprised of all financial decisions. If you marry for financial gain, how do you know your spouse didn't just put your name on a million dollar life insurance policy before lacing your drink with something?

If you've read this far, and you still want to get married, then my second best wedding advice to you is to put your spouse first in everything that you do. It can even be something as simple as planning to visit your relatives. Ask yourself first: I wonder how he/she will feel about this? If you both are more concerned with the needs and desires of the other person, then nothing will fall through the cracks.