The Best Wedding Advice I Ever Received

If you are currently in the process of planning your own wedding, you may have already discovered that wedding advice is one of those things that people who are about to get married tend to receive plenty of - even if it's unsolicited. Everyone seems to have their opinion on how your big day should go. Deciphering between helpful wedding advice and that which is less constructive is not always easy, but it can make the difference between memories that you'll cherish forever or memories that will be tainted with regret.

I've seen the most elaborate of weddings literally bring everyone who was present to tears, only for the marriage to dissolve within a couple of years. I also know of a few courthouse weddings that resulted in decades of marital bliss. Although I was given a plethora of advice prior to my own wedding, much of it merely served to reinforce a few conclusions that I had already reached from my observations of other peoples' weddings: 1) Less is more; 2) Don't overlook the minor details; 3) Don't forget about the groom; 4) Agree to keep the bachelor and bachelorette parties "PG-13"; and 5) Save some energy for the honeymoon.

Allow me to expound...

Less is more

One bit of wedding advice that I found particularly helpful was that "less is more." While this proverbial phrase has been used in reference to a variety of things over the years, I would definitely say that it holds true for weddings. It would seem that the more time, money and effort one puts into planning a wedding, the more magical and wonderful that wedding should be. In reality, this is often not the case.

No matter how much time or money you spend on your wedding and reception, someone will not like your dress, your color scheme, the food at the reception or the seating arrangements. It is also important to keep in mind that the more "perfect" you try to make your wedding day, the greater the likelihood that you will alienate the very people who have your best interest at heart by issuing unrealistic demands, displaying unpredictable mood swings and a possessing an overall narcissistic attitude. If you don't know what I mean, just watch an episode of Bridezillas! You deserve to have a memorable and special wedding day, but more important than the bells and whistles is the sacred union that you are entering into and the relationships that you have (or are building) with those who are present to share in this sacred occasion with you and your spouse-to-be.

Don't overlook the minor details

Although less is more, you certainly do not want to miss minor details that will help your wedding day go as smoothly as possible. For example, I attended the most beautiful wedding when I was in my early 20's. The bride and groom looked stunning. The church was packed and the couple's pastor spoke with such passion and eloquence during the ceremony that there was not a dry eye in the room. The wedding reception was equally splendid, so it came as quite a surprise when, after all the guests had left, the bride and groom followed my date and I outside to our car.

"Can you all drop us off at our place?" the groom asked awkwardly as he turned to my date (who was also, quite fortunately, his good friend).

"What happened to the limo?" my date asked bluntly, referring to the stretch limousine that had dropped them off at the reception hall.

"Uh - well with all of the excitement, that was one minor detail we overlooked!" the groom chuckled as his beautiful bride looked away in embarrassment.

Within a year, this couple's marriage had officially ended.

Don't forget about the groom!

It has often been said that the wedding ceremony is for the bride and the honeymoon is for the groom! Many a groom has verbally expressed his desire to fast forward past the big gala that his bride-to-be and her friends, family or wedding coordinator have planned and get to the good stuff. The best advice that I have been given, however, is to always remember that a wedding is meant for two! A wedding is not a debutante ball or princess party; it is a uniting of two people in holy matrimony. For that reason alone, it is important to avoid neglecting the groom and your relationship during the planning stages.

If your groom is a no-frills kind of guy who would prefer that you be the one to focus on the wedding planning, then you can at the very least keep him abreast of any major developments as they unfold. More importantly, however, you will want to set aside time regularly for the two of you to be together and just enjoy one another - without every second of your time being devoted to talking about the wedding. Otherwise, you are likely to get on his nerves very quickly, or simply be tuned out the moment you form your lips to say anything.

Agree to keep the bachelor and bachelorette parties "PG-13" (and stick to it!)

This point is likely to ruffle a few feathers. However, I'm going to put it out there as it was shared with me - only with a little more zest to get your attention. If you and your fiancé view marriage as the beginning of something wonderful (as opposed to the end), then there should be no be reason to sow your wild oats one last time before you tie the knot. Even if an absolutely gorgeous, half-naked Playboy Bunny replica unexpectedly jumps out of a giant cake wearing a sexy lace teddy on her gravity-defying body, or a Greek god shows up wearing nothing more on his muscular physique than a fireman's jacket and a thong, it's best to keep your bachelor and bachelorette parties PG-13. For those of you who are unfamiliar with bachelor/bachelorette party ratings, that means: no kissing, licking, groping or other acts that can be construed as sexual in nature - and keep your drooling to a minimum! The less alcohol you drink at your party, the more likely you'll find the will power to stay out of trouble.

My point here is not that you should spend your last outing as a single person deeply engrossed in a philosophical discussion with your friends at the Barnes and Noble Café (though to some people, that might actually be a great idea). A happy medium will suffice. When in doubt about what's acceptable or unacceptable behavior, consider your fiancé's feelings and don't do anything behind their back that you wouldn't do in their presence.

Save some energy for the honeymoon

I was actually reminded of this by several friends and loved ones, but I also learned indirectly from other married couples that after weeks or months of planning a wedding, participating in rehearsals, catering to out of town guests and then going through the various ceremonial rituals that tend to take place on the day of the wedding, many couples find themselves completely void of energy. Whether you have elaborate plans to go to a faraway, exotic locale for your honeymoon or just want to spend a romantic evening at a nearby venue, you should make certain that you have enough energy saved for when the two of you are finally able to have some alone time. Consummating your marriage is very important and is about much more than sex. You have officially become one, and it's time to refocus your attention to what really matters, which is the union that you will hopefully share for the rest of your lives.