The Best and Worst Super Bowl XLII Commercials

Super Bowl XLII, I'm happy to say, was much more entertaining than its commercials. What the heck happened? Super Bowl commercials are supposed to enhance your Super Bowl experience. Usually, I laugh at a handful of them. This year, I think I forced a chuckle for one of the movie ads.

Hollywood had the most effective ads. The movie commercials that take honorable mention are Drillbit, Iron Man, and You Don't Mess with a Zohan. The most impressive movie commercial was for Wanted. "Curve the bullet", Angelina Jolie instructs a nervous man with a pistol while standing in front of a target. The guy then shoots the gun by swinging his arms sort of like a pitcher. Then the bullet made a slow motion curve! Hollywood stole the show. They had the best overall line-up of Super Bowl commercials. But really, they cheated. Those weren't not "real" commercials, just snippets of movie trailers. Super Bowl commercials are supposed to be designed only for their temporary entertainment. They are supposed to premier exclusively on Super Bowl Sunday. We're supposed to be laughing or oohing and awing, not planning out our movie-watching season. But effective they were.

Now let's turn our attention to the real winners and losers of Super Bowl XLII Commercials. Let's begin with the losers.

There were plenty of horrible commercials. Come on Doritos! We usually count on you to come through. What happened this year? That first quarter ad with the singer? What? It's great to offer the girl a chance to be seen and heard on the biggest stage in the world, but I was confused. That was followed up by an even worse commercial with a giant mouse that busted through a wall and then started beating the heck out of a guy eating a bag of your product. The Dell commercial also sucked. Buy Dell? Join Red? Not funny, not witty, not interesting.

The award for the Worst Commercial of Super Bowl XLII goes to Diet Pepsi Max. The Haddaway song, What Is Love?, has been overused and abused in cheesy media for some time. Saturday Night Live took that song to its limit. Now you want to showcase it in your Super Bowl commercial? That not being bad enough, Joe Buck looked like an alien bobbing his head. Super Bowl commercials usually start off slow, build suspense, and then punch it home. You had Joe Buck bobbing his head like an alien after all the suspense! All the celebrity cameos couldn't save this horrible ad.

There were some decent commercials. The E Trade baby on the web cam probably got some laughs from mommies and daddies especially when he regurgitated his milk. Bud Light had some lame ones but the man that blew fire was semi-funny. The one they made with Will Ferrell would have been funny if it wasn't on the biggest stage in the world. Other than that Will is always fun to watch. Also, you can't go wrong with Shaq on a horse. Do you know what company's product was he selling? Hint: Vitamin Agua.

The award for the Best Commercial of Super Bowl XLII goes to Career Builder.com with their "follow you heart" ad. Whoa, the heart jumped out of the woman and told the boss to shove it with an "I Quit" sign. Funny, a bit witty, and relevant. That's refreshing. A commercial that is relevant to its product or service. Great job Career Builder.com. You guys saved an otherwise poor performance by our representatives of capitalism.

Next year, I suggest that the network hold try-outs for Super Bowl commercials. There needs to be criteria other than cash. Attention networks: If the commercials continue to be mediocre you will have spoiled an American tradition. Super Bowl Sunday is one of the biggest American holidays there is. Super Bowl commercials to Super Bowl Sunday is what turkey is to Thanksgiving, what presents are to Christmas. This year the turkey was more like chicken and all I got was a damn tie.

If you want to torture yourself further and view the commercials over and over, visit www.myspace.com/superbowlads .