The Big Birthday: Dying by the Numbers 5 … 0

Those who live by the digits can expect to get gibed by the numbers. So did we who are friends of my bother deduce as we set about finding a numerical way to not just say happy birthday, but to do so in a way that would expound upon the pleasure of reminding him that he was getting dead on (no rounding errors) to the BIG Five Oh No!

It was with this in mind that his mainframe mindset got us thinking about 00000 1111 010101 11110001100101 10101010101 and on for infinity, or a half a century anyway, whichever comes first. And that was how we came up with the perfect gift for the guy who wants nothing.

Ten or so of his friends and relatives (not necessarily subsets here!) came up with the idea of each of us sending him fifty letters each, one after the other, with each letter containing something of insignificance that would remind him of the inevitability of getting on with the calculations of life. What better way to make a lasting impression that 500 gentle nudges of "we told you so"?

The project (now in mid delivery) allows each of us to find our own way to subtly extract vengeance for the years he has spent reminding others and us of our advancing chronologies. Some have simply decided to send him 50 one-cent stamps, each under their own cover, to remind him of the costs of today versus yesteryear, while others, like me, have engaged him on a poetic mystery of sorts, whose clues are to be unveiled with the taunts stapled on each of 50 individual sheets of paper de la toilet. (Your confusion, dare I say it, would be wiped clean were I able at this time to feed you the essence of this artistic endeavor! But you will have to wait to see if he gets the bulb to go off first!)

Anyway, this got me thinking about the ways we creatively endeavor to annoy the ones we love. Any ideas or suggestions on your part?