The "Birthers" of the Left

"Birthers", as the television media and left-wing blogging world have dubbed them, are people who writhe with jealousy and hatred of their new leader, going so far as to demand he expose his original birth certificate to the people he presides over. The nerve! They're anti-social Morlocks who live life in camouflage fatigues, emerging from their barren mobile-home villages only often enough to commandeer more alcohol and fireworks. Although none of us seem to know anyone who fits this description, experts say they lurk all around us. They are also... dun dun dun... racist. Bet you didn't say that coming from a mile away!

At least that was the idea before MSNBC was humiliated on national TV (on their own national TV, thus additional humiliation).

Seemingly accidentally, a bubbly-yet-concerned in-studio 'pundit' raved on and on about symbolic emotional triggers like "white people with guns and a black president" and made token, passing mention of "birthers", wrapping up 2nd amendment protesters, health care protesters, and actual 'birthers' into one rubber band ball to bounce around in the liberal perceived-victimization think tank. In other words, the norm. These villainous, racist motivations are surely the sole reason anyone would oppose Barack "ban all semi-automatics" Obama, the beacon of freedom! While MSNBC hilariously mongered fears of an imminently brewing Nazi coup d'etat, tape rolled of a clearly armed, clearly African-American protester. Uh oh. Cut to commercial! Too late. It was the laughing stock of cyberspace within minutes.

And the double standards. Has the left forgotten its own campaign-time birthers? "Was John McCain born in the US?" asks a left-wing blogger. Another wonders: "He was born in Panama, how can he ever be president?" The notoriously neutral MSNBC even did its own "birthing": It asked if McCain was eligible, since the US never held true sovereignty over the Panama canal. Professor Gabriel J. Chin declares that legally, McCain is not a natural-born citizen and would have been disqualified from the presidency.

Are we actually silly enough to accuse Professor Chin of racism and vigilantism for giving this issue an honest glance? Hopefully not, but the left is more than eager to oblige in such a manner if their agenda is on the line.

Hey: If you can't beat them, join them. Oh yes. Anti-Panama vigilantism is on the rise and "McSame" (because they all look the same, right, bigot?) is the prey. I expect a defensive press release from the Southern Poverty Law Center, similar to the one issued to Lou Dobbs for "refusing to "shut up" about Obama's long-form birth certificate.

Fair is fair.