The Black and White of Marriage
The Single Black Ladies
A dark day is dawning for black women in America. According to Stanford Law Professor, Ralph Richard Banks, there is a shortage of black mates for women of color. He even suggests that "interracial marriage may be a solution for middle-class African-American women who can't find a suitable black husband."
Beyonce's lyrics, "All the single ladies…" may have been the catalyst behind Nightline asking the question, "Who is to blame for all the single black ladies?" Nightline brought together a Nightline faceoff titled "Why can't black women find a successful black man?"
Hill Harper, CSI star and author of "The Conversation" said that 90% of black women want to date the top 10% of the black men." Harper also authored, "Letters to a Young Brother," which won several awards and enjoyed success on the NY Times best seller list.
To watch a snippet of the show, you can see it here.
Marriage on the whole has been taking a huge hit lately. I wouldn't want to be single for all the tea in China. (Is there any tea in China?) Anyway, I think it is difficult for any single woman to find a mate. But, apparently for my black friends - it is even more difficult.
The Statistics are staggering:
42% of all black women are unmarried (double the % for unmarried white women)
For professional black women the number spikes to 70%
Black women outnumber men by 2 million nationwide
If every black man married a black woman in America today, there would still be one in ten who remain unmarried.
I have several black women friends and many of them have successful and happy black marriages with children and several others that have daughters. What this conversation and news story did for me was raise the question, "What about the daughters of my friends? Will they be unable to find suitable mates?"
I found an interesting video from the Oprah show a few years ago. A young, successful black woman said, "Race shouldn't matter. I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood and have more in common with men who have no color." You can watch Oprah's show here.
In the end, all the single ladies need our prayers. A good man is hard to find.
Beyonce's lyrics, "All the single ladies…" may have been the catalyst behind Nightline asking the question, "Who is to blame for all the single black ladies?" Nightline brought together a Nightline faceoff titled "Why can't black women find a successful black man?"
Hill Harper, CSI star and author of "The Conversation" said that 90% of black women want to date the top 10% of the black men." Harper also authored, "Letters to a Young Brother," which won several awards and enjoyed success on the NY Times best seller list.
To watch a snippet of the show, you can see it here.
Marriage on the whole has been taking a huge hit lately. I wouldn't want to be single for all the tea in China. (Is there any tea in China?) Anyway, I think it is difficult for any single woman to find a mate. But, apparently for my black friends - it is even more difficult.
The Statistics are staggering:
42% of all black women are unmarried (double the % for unmarried white women)
For professional black women the number spikes to 70%
Black women outnumber men by 2 million nationwide
If every black man married a black woman in America today, there would still be one in ten who remain unmarried.
I have several black women friends and many of them have successful and happy black marriages with children and several others that have daughters. What this conversation and news story did for me was raise the question, "What about the daughters of my friends? Will they be unable to find suitable mates?"
I found an interesting video from the Oprah show a few years ago. A young, successful black woman said, "Race shouldn't matter. I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood and have more in common with men who have no color." You can watch Oprah's show here.
In the end, all the single ladies need our prayers. A good man is hard to find.
Sources:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/conversation-hill-harper/1100643596#EditorialReviews
Published by Michele Starkey
Optimist who enjoys writing, laughing and spreading good news. If I have but one life to live, I hope to make mine memorable. My epitaph will read: she lived, she loved, she left. View profile
- 7 Year-Old "Single Ladies": Child Pornography, or Innocent Dancing?A group of five 7 year olds make a video dancing to Beyonce's "Single Ladies", but why do their moves seem better suited for a 20 year old than little children?
- Baby Dancing to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" Video a Worldwide HitWhen I first heard about the baby dancing to Beyonce video, where a toddler tripped the light Travolta to Beyonce's mega-hit "Single Ladies," I thought it was another one of those computer generated babies videos, lik...
- Rapper Slim Thug Thinks Black Women Should Lower Their StandardsRapper Slim Thug ran into what he nicknamed "the black women mafia" for his comments on Vibe about why black women need to lower their standards. Here's why his comments rubbed me the wrong way.
- No Black Women Allowed on VH1's the Ultimate Catch with Chad Ochocinco JohnsonChad Ochocinco infuriated the black community when he attempted to eliminate all the black women from his dating show.
- "Sexy Li'l Thug":Black Women, Choices & ResponsibilityThe guy black women want at 32 is not the one they want at 22. They've been saying it in music for decades, and the men have been listening. Only black women can stem this tide by broadening their idea of masculinity,...
- Queen Latifah's "Single Ladies" on VH1: Atlanta's Answer to Sex & the City?
- Single Ladies
- 2010 Valentine's Day Party Songs for Single Ladies that Want to Dance
- 20 Celebrity Divorces and Breakups of 2010: All the Single Ladies!
- Why is There Controversy Over the Single Ladies Girl Dance Troupe?
- Holiday Party Tips for Single Ladies
- Joe Jonas Dances to Single Ladies
48 Comments
Post a Commentyeah a good man is hard to find and i plan on keeping mine!
Yes I have to leave a comment! I think that for those women that are single and dating , they should not limit themselves to only One Race or Color. I have even read this that by doing so they lessen their chance of finding a good mate. If they think they only want to marry black because they are black then that puts a limit on who they date and a limit on ever finding a good man. I for one do not put a limit on color of a persons skin, I am white and have some cherokee from my dad's side but when I did date I dated the person for how they treated me no their color of skin. I have dated and fell in love with a white man, which was my first love at 16! Through the years I dated white guys, a Mexican Amercian,and I married my first spouse which was from Vietnam and married my second spouse which is African American! WOW right, so you see i don't limit myelf, I just go with who i meet and how they treat me and if they are a good person. I guess I can say " I don't see color when it comes to race's". btw I had 3 beautiful daughters by my first spouse which is vietnamese. I have no children with my spouse now but he see's my daughters as his own kids and my grand-kids are his grand-kids. My one grand-duaghter that is 6 yrs old I told her one day that her real papaw was a vietnamese man and she said " uh No thats my papaw!"and pointed at my husband that is black! It was just so cute, she loves her papaw he is the only papaw she has known sense birth and all my grandkids feel the same if you ask them who is their papaw! I just wanted to share hope you enjoy it. thanks,Barbara
Interesting article and fascinating statistics..
Whose to blame? we have a culture that has thrown basic principles listed in Genesis.
Great article Michele. We have to invite God in every area of our lives, and marriage is truly one decision I would not want to make without hearing from God. Color is not a factor, people make choices.
I had no clue. Excellent reporting Michele!
good writing
well written - thank you
Great reporting.
Very interesting article. Great job! Though I wouldn't find the stats very scary if I were single, as I choose my mate not based on the race that I am but on the person that they are. Maybe I am in the minority with that, but I have never understood why some people only look within their own race for a mate. I have always just looked at people for who they are on the inside, not by the tone of their skin . I am of mixed racial background but have dated people both inside and outside of my race in the past.