The Bodybag

Candice put her cigarette out and gazed around the room in disgust. She rose from the battered couch but fell back against it in pain. Her ribcage was on fire. She stood slowly, ambling her way to the linen closet. She pulled out an old sheet and cut out one long strip. She wrapped it tightly below her breasts and around her ribcage. Every movement made her wince. A few Tylenol later, she began to felt better.

Walking stiffly to the kitchen, she recalled the fight from last night. She knew how much James hated rice, but she thought if she mixed it in a casserole he might like it. He didn't. When he saw the rice, he came at her immediately. He was enraged, his eyes bulged out of their sockets. He threw her to the floor and kicked her over and over again until her midsection was bleeding. She could feel the blood drip down her waist, soaked through the thin t-shirt. When he was done, he spit in her face and grabbed the dinner plate on his way by. He ate his food and watched TV while she lay on the floor in agony. It took several hours before she could get off the floor and drag her body to the couch. The memory made her shudder.

She hated herself for not standing up to him. Estranged from her parents and no friends, she had no one to turn to for help. They had no phone, leaving her a prisoner. James would lock her in the house every morning and remind her of what would happen if she tried to run away. "You even think about it dear, and you'll leave this house in a body bag." he said.

Candice met James in high school. They dated a couple times, but when the trouble started, the relationship came to an abrupt end. Phoenix High had voted James the most popular. He was the captain of the football team and senior class president. He'd been voted most likely to succeed. Although he was an A student and Mr. Popularity, he had a taste for booze and a good time. Candice didn't think he had a problem, he just liked to have fun.

When Jody, another student, had told the authorities that James had raped her at a party, the police showed up at his house and took him away in handcuffs. James denied the charges, but when the jury saw the evidence, they found him guilty and sentenced him to five years in jail. He insisted the girl had consented, but the jury didn't buy it.

Three years later, when James was released, he moved back in with his parents and got a job working in an auto repair shop. He still denied any wrong doing and said he'd been released early for good behavior.

He called a few of his old buddies and arranged for a party at the Rattlesnake Lounge. He invited Candice to come along. She didn't think twice about meeting him. They drank beer and talked for hours. James told her about how difficult it was being in jail for something you didn't do and she empathized with him. Soon, they'd become an item. They were inseparable.

He was good to her in the beginning... He opened the car door for her like a perfect gentlemen, brought her flowers often and told her every day that he couldn't live without her.

When they married a few months later at the courthouse, the only people in attendance were James' parents. James insisted they not have friends there. She thought it was strange, but sweet. He didn't want to share his happy day with anyone but her... Because Candice' mother and father didn't approve of James, they refused to witness the ceremony. They'd told her early on they didn't like him. While her mother had tried to warn her, she found it insulting. "As if she'd marry a bad person." she thought. It was ridiculous.

"If you marry that man, you can forget about us. We won't support you Candy. He's a dangerous man and you're being fooled. He's playing you." She'd said.

Her relationship with her parents was volatile. Her father had spent most of the marriage controlling her mother by beating her into submission. Candice had been a part of an abusive family long enough to know the signs. She knew James was different. It was James and Candice, nothing else existed. She loved James and nobody could convince her that he wasn't wonderful in every way.

When James got a job offer in Tucson, they packed and moved the following day. He put a small down payment on a trailer and that's where they'd been ever since. Neither one had spoken to friends or family in several years.

The first time James hit her and apologized, Candice chalked it up to the stress he endured in prison. "Anyone would be angry" she'd thought. "I just have to take better care of him and not give him a reason to get angry." The second, third and fourth time he'd hit her, had scared her. She wanted James to get help, she wanted to save the marriage. She didn't want to end up like her parents.

Six months into the marriage and a dozen black eyes later, she packed a bag and waited nervously for him to come home from work. She'd told him she wanted him to think about their relationship. "I think if you see a doctor, they could help you control your anger." she said. "I love you..."

The rage that filled his eyes was monstrous. He lunged at her."You love me!" he said. He locked his big callused hands around her throat and squeezed her neck until she blacked out. When she woke up, James was hammering nails into the tiny trailer windows, sealing them shut. She was trapped. Too scared to bring it up again and trapped in the house, Candice gave up.

She walked slowly through the hallway stopping to look at the wedding picture that hung on the wall. It wasn't much of a picture, just a Polaroid in a cheap Faux wood frame. The girl was lovely. She was pretty in her blond curls and pink sun-dress. She looked familiar, but so much had changed. Candice hadn't seen that young innocent girl in years.

After one year of marriage she could see right through him, as though he were a thin pane of glass. After three years she had come to the conclusion that he was a monster and would never stop hurting her, but what could she do? He had complete control over her now...

She was so deep in thought she realized she'd been standing in the same spot for nearly ten minutes. She'd forgotten to start dinner and made a frenzied run for the kitchen. She tripped over the car parts James had strewn in the corner and fell to the unforgiving floor. Cursing, she tossed the loose parts back on top of the pile. With little food to choose from, she labored over what to make. If it weren't perfect, he'd beat her to death for sure.

Friday was a special day and James expected special treatment. "I work my ass off for you and you don't appreciate it bitch." he said so many times before. James expected a big dinner, drinks and her at the ready whenever the mood struck. Sex with James was far worse than his physical abuse. He was violent when he took her and so forceful, that she could no longer pee without buckling in pain.

After putting the breaded chops and seasoned potatoes on to bake, she mixed the drinks, added ice and put the glass pitcher in the fridge to chill. She headed to the bathroom to clean herself up. She had to cover the old bruises or... James insisted she always look her best. "You take care of yourself Candice, you hear me?. You can't expect me to screw a dog can ya? Woof woof." he'd say.

The black circles around her eyes were swollen. When she wasn't bruised, Candice was pretty. Pale, but pretty. She slathered the foundation on her skin, but the bruises still showed through. After a few more layers of powder and make-up, she slipped on a low cut silk blouse, dabbed on perfume and went back to the kitchen. After cleaning, she set the table and lit a candle. She carefully poured his drink into his favorite stein and piled the food onto the plate. Waiting anxiously, Candice sat in the quiet space, biting her nails and waited. For the first time in years Candice was looking forward to seeing him.

When she heard him pull in, she stood up from the table and waited for him to unlock the deadbolt from the outside. She smiled at him as he tossed his lunch box on the table. "What the hell are you smiling about?" he said. "Just glad to see you, that's all." James surveyed the table and looked at her suspiciously.

"What's this?" he said, glaring at her. "Tropical fruit punch and vodka." she replied. He hesitated a moment studying her face. He picked up the stein and put his nose to it, smiling in approval at the sweet smell. "It's going to be a good night dear. I've got plans for you." he said. She wanted to take a swing at him, but knew better and kept her mouth shut.

James guzzled the drink and slammed it down on the table. He waved for her to refill it. She retrieved the pitcher from the fridge and filled the stein to the top. She nibbled at her dinner and watched him out of the corner of her eye.

James shoveled the food into his mouth like an inmate. He ate like a pig and it made her sick to watch. She could feel the vomit rise in her throat as he grunted with every bite. Choking down the bile, she watched him chug down the second glass faster than the first.

Candice got up from the table, ready to refill his glass. He narrowed his eyes at her, burped and dropped his fork. "What the hell? Oh my God, I'm gonna be sick!" he said confused. When he rose from the table, he lost his balance and fell to the floor. "What's wrong with me?" he pleaded, looking up at her. Before she could reply vomit shot from his mouth and splattered everywhere. Candice glared down at him, her lips parted in a thin smile. The fear in his eyes made her feel powerful and in control. "Maybe it was something you ate, or drank, dear?" she said sarcastically. "Sorry, but I've got to get ready to go now." she said, kicking him in the ribs on her way by.

He passed out a few minutes later. Candice stood over him and watched him die. His final moments of pain were nothing compared to the years of abuse she'd had to live with. She was void of any guilt, the adrenaline coursed through her. She felt fantastic. She thought about the old cliche, "what comes around goes around" and laughed out loud.

He died a half hour later. She packed up every item in the house that was hers, wiping her prints away as she went. She felt sure that she wouldn't be tracked down. If the cops did find her, all she had to do was tell them they'd been apart for years now. After all, how many women stay with a man that abuses them? She had no checking account, or job. Nobody knew where she was. She couldn't have planned it better.

She rolled his body to his side and took the wallet out of his back pocket. She gagged from the stench of the puke and stepped back grimacing. The contents of his wallet were a disappointment, one she had already prepared herself for. "Fifty bucks!"

There was money James didn't know about. Candice had managed to stash money nearly every day for the last six months. Some day's only ones, other days, fives. He would get so drunk he wouldn't notice if a few dollars went missing. She pulled out three hundred and twenty dollars from the inside of her pillow and put it in her purse.

She emptied the contents of the pitcher and the stein into the toilet and put them in an over sized bag. She left the vodka on the counter and put the anti-freeze in her suitcase. She stepped over his body and looked back at him smugly. "Pathetic son of a bitch." she whispered. You underestimated me dear. Who's leaving in a body bag?" She laughed as she walked out the door and locked James inside.

She wasn't sure where to go. She knew James wouldn't be found for days. She started the car, backed out of the driveway and headed west. Vegas would do. She still had her looks and figured she could land a job as a waitress in one of the casinos. She wanted to go back to school. She wanted to see the world. There were so many things she wanted to do. Mostly, she just wanted to live. All Candice wanted to do was live...