The Boy in the Dark

A boy sat alone in the darkness pondering the reason to breath. In his despair he destroy himself mentally giving up all hope of a purpose doing what he could to numb the pain and forget who he was. He forgot who he was as much as possible because who he truly was hurt more than being nothing. He was a boy with dreams who believed in love more than anything and who would fight to the end for that love.

After too many nights shattered and alone he couldn't take his heart anymore so he burried it deep inside himself and gave into his lonely demons giving into a life of nothingness. Yet, always he remained alive waiting for the moment when a reason would arise to break the routine death inside of him. Still his truth would not allow him the sweet serenity of death for fear of forsaking that love in her time of need if ever she should prove herself to be real.

In his mind there was a ghost he clung to in his most desperate needs when the past refused to give any ease to the pain inside of him. At times his dreams were so strong he felt she must be real, yet every awakening only brought tears upon her abondonment with his awaking eyes.

Now through the broken shards of glass I pull out the last of my strength and wade through the pains of hell hoping for what I've dreamt of for so many years. Trying to pull myself back together and save the broken angel of my dreams. From my crimson tears and torn pieces I hope to mend her broken heart fitting the pieces delicately into mine to create a whole of halves.

When the wolves come tonight I will hold her by my side and kiss her hair softly. When they attack and pierce our flesh with there teeth I will call all of my strength to block out the pain and take us far away. With all of my might I will strive to take her to that place beyond our bodies where only we may live. That place in my dreams where we flew away in a dream so long ago.

My soul seems to know the beat of her heart better than my body. It seems internally I see her stronger than physically, yet she is one and the same and I long for the day to break through the lies and the distance to create that truth with in. Though the fires of hell burn hotter every day my optimism I try to hold trusting through every difficulty in the strength of the heart with in. When each day seems more shattered than the last and I barely long to move softly I whisper in her ear that things will be ok.

Tell me darkness in the sky is there an end to this? Shall the battle ever have an ending call or shall the torment continue until eternity's end? Shall we fight a war always wondering if we're fighting on the right side or will there ever be a pure certainty that may never break? Would success mean anything if we always were sure of the path or is it perhaps better to stumble through the dark?

It seems my greatest demon is that with in my mind that tells me things and shows me pain that isn't real. It's hard to know the truth when you have visions of reality and fear all at the same time. My only hope is that her need is as strong as mine and that our pain will forever bring us together clinging tighter never pushing away or letting go. My only hope is that I may have the strength to never let myself go again for I fear to be gone in her darkest hours once again.

Would she wield the knife and slowly push it through my heart to end our pain and take the sweetest end? Will we find the path and the strength to live our lives through the pain of other's desire? Shall our lips once more burn with pure desire or shall we wallow in a shallow pool forgetting the deepest of our soul? Never would I want her to settle for less, yet I wonder if we can handle the fire of our heart and soul. Each step closer burns more than the last and it scares us as one to death yet that fear drives me to push through and find her ever closer inside of me.

For those moments of connection of truth that may only be felt together I would wait a thousand years. Through the earth I would walk stumbling in mistakes to once again feel the purity of our love. I would drink the poisoned water just to be cured again, but now we are too broken to break anymore and her heart is mine to mend. May heaven or hell give me the strength to fix this tattered wings and teach them to fly again.

Sweet demon of the night sweet angel in the sky I know you're there somewhere. What is it you dream and why can't I seem to break through your mind as purely as I know we're meant to be? What is it that guards our heart? Does the past still destroy me thus? How can it be I am broken by one I love not as much who I could not share so purely with? At times I regret every action I've ever made with out you, yet the struggle to fix myself will only prove our love stronger than that which made us break.

Yes my love from the bottom of the endless pit of life we will slowly climb our way to the top until my bones break and my lungs are about to burst. I will drag you with every ounce of strength until my legs refuse to move. If we start to fall your hand will remain in mine as I struggle to lift you up refusing to let go. If we shall break we shall break together never denying our love. If our love shall break us than so be it but never will I ask you to leave or let me go. Even when the past comes knocking on my door and makes me tear your heart apart. I will tear your heart apart and hold it tightly kissing the wounds until we bleed enough to end the pain. Forever I will hold on until you whisper let me go and even than I will not release you until you pull so desperately I fear for your life and you force me far away. But never shall you do such as your love is as true as mine.

So here the boy sits searching through the words for a hint of creativity to find the truth inside. Looking past the broken thoughts trying to find something coherant. Trying to find that passion that was once so strong with in, yet wondering if all is lost. If his wrists were torn and his blood flowed would it stop her heart? At times he wants to try simply to know the truth. To push to extremes so that love can be undeniable in the most difficult of times. Yet, for now he tries desperately to slowly climb his way to the top pulling her on his back striving for life before giving into death.