The Brave Ones

When I was in college, I took a course called "Black Women Studies". One of the books we used was called But Some of Us Are Brave. It told of the history of Black women in this country that is long and painful. I do not want to compare apples to oranges. At any point in time, any groups can mistreatment. Each has valid points and truths, but still... I was the only black woman in the class and it seemed that everyone wanted to hear me, to understand me. Actually, it was both

I was not born a black woman; I grew into the role. My mother and grandmother taught me the sacrifices that Black women were compelled to take in order to survive. I learned why, in most Black families, there is a matriarchal structure. Through learning our past in America, I learned more about myself. I learned to fear for my brothers, nephews, male cousins. I knew that there was always the possibility that they would be victims of police misconduct, racial profiling, and violent deaths. I still fear for them and my son. Racial attitudes, racial profiling, Black While Driving. Black men are imprisoned every day at unusually high rates. It comes to the mother to hold the family together.

With public assistance, Black women learned that they no longer needed Black men to survive. You must understand that black men have been absolved of responsibilities since slavery. Public assistance was another notch in the emasculatation of Black men. Because most black men had a run-in of sorts with the law, many jobs were unavailable to them. Once again, Black women would pick up the slack. It was easier to hire a black woman. We were exploited, raped, treated apathetically by our owners. No one seemed to care.

Did you know that in Africa, the majority of cultures are matriarchal? The family proceeds through the female line. This started out of necessity, before DNA and forensics. One might not know who the father would be, but the mother was always known. The intelligent decision would be to place the child in the place where it was a certainty.

Black women have lost cultural and familial ties. We have lost our heritage, our language, our sense of being and belonging. This place was not created for us. We had to forge our way, evolve to appear pliable so that we could fit in. Now I hear that once again the stereotypes that persist: Black women are loud, abrasive, interested in money, and only speak Ebonics. Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact of the matter is that there is some truth in stereotypes, but to paint all black women with the same broad stroke is ludicrous and incredibly unfair. Some black women are loud, interested more in their outward appearances than their inner selves are. We hide from ourselves because the pain is too great to remember and acknowledge. We were never victims; we are survivors. We have told this country "Do your worst" and we see our men swinging from trees. Nonblack women do not have to worry about being assumed to receive public assistance. When we attend a physician, we are always asked for our State medical card or we are told that the physician did not accept state medical care. There is still surprise when I answer that I am married and all of my children were born during the marriage. The nerve of some people! We all can stereotype each other but what pains black women is when our sons, brothers, nephews attempt to prove the Black Woman Stereotypes. The people we try so desperately to emulate reject us.

The black women studies course was not designed to give a psychological profile. It taught the neglected duties we served for so long. It taught us the pain that we were too afraid to remember. We learned that Black women masked their vulnerability better than most. I learned that some of the things I knew from my ancestors and elders wear for survival.

I am a Black woman by nature. I am proud by choice. All the women are white; all the men are black. BUT SOME OF US ARE BRAVE.